One of my commonly held ideas in the study of the  UFO problem is that in many cases, the enigma seems to manifest based on our own level interest and attention. This is not something I've been able to solidify, but it is an interesting item that others have identified with as well.

My experiences after the realization of what was going on with me personally, seemed to "ramp up" or become much more "in my face". No longer was it a matter of thinking I saw something, it became undeniable. Initially I surmised I was just devoting too much time to it, and becoming entirely too sensitive. Don't ever assume you can't fool yourself, because no one is immune to that mistake.

However, in response to that notion, the enigma became gutsy enough to present more significant experiences to me, but also much more often in the presence of others (wife, friends, etc).  Flashes of light, small ball shaped lights, floating geometric shapes, and apparition types have all been seen by family and friends over the years at one time or another. (David Biedny, on a visit not long ago, saw what he thought was a black cat walk down towards our hallway. We have no cat).

My wife has actually seen what she deems to be a transparent veil drift through the room on some occasions, mostly when I am writing or conversing, or investigating the UFO/alien subject rather intensely. Both of us back many years ago noticed a feeling around the house just before I would have a significant experience: we called it "Doom". Almost as if you were being intensely watched, by something or someone not particularly happy with you. It's a seriously heady and heavy feeling, that others have noticed as well.

To skip to the point, when I dropped away from the pursuit of answers in this field around 10 years ago, the phenomena gradually ceased. There have been spotty events and sightings both seen by myself and family/friends, but there was a dramatic decrease in overall strangeness. I still studied the phenomena, but less intensity, and dare I say, obsession.

Not long before I walked away and secluded myself somewhat  from this subject, I had an significant experience as I got ready for bed one night. I got up off the couch, got a final drink of water for the day and headed down the hallway to the bedroom.

It was 1 AM.

I'd had an uneasy feeling earlier, but it wasn't too pronounced until I looked down the hallway, and there between me and the bedroom was an odd light, almost reddish. There was no obvious light source, only the light hitting the floor. This light, much like ones I'd seen before in childhood, visually canceled out everything past it. The door to the bedroom was no longer visible to me.

In that light, stood a being, very obviously not human. It was shorter then me (as near as I could tell) spindly, and moving as if it was underwater. I could not run, scream or look it in the face. My eyes dropped to the floor like a scolded child as the adrenalin slapped me in the chest and ankles. The cold numbing fear rose up my legs from my feet within seconds. There were smaller, shorter beings around this one. But they were not as solid or clear to my vision, but I could hear them moving on the carpet. Everything was completely silent aside from the scuffling.

The next instant, I am aware of getting into bed with my heart pounding so hard I could feel it in the top of my head. I lay down and hear the clock in the living room chime: 4 AM. It was absolutely seamless, and three hours were gone. I woke my wife and told her what happened. We both commented the hallway and house smelled like musty paper, and the air was bristly feeling... hard to describe. Cold.This coming Friday, I will be heading to an area I know not very far from my home, where my wife, friends and I have all had significant sightings of very weird things in the sky. My realization event occurred there. I will be taking a digital camera, DVR, and a Hi-8 digital camcorder.Perhaps nothing will happen. Maybe something will happen. If it does, I think we might possibly get a new perspective on how this phenomena might work. I'll go for several nights, and document each one. We should, from my past experience, see a gradual increase in odd activity over the duration of the multiple nights.
By focusing my intent, and actively searching for the enigma...will it come (as I have long suspected)? If nothing happens, so be it. Maybe I'm wrong. However, I've seen time after time in my life and in the lives of others, this very strange aspect of the UFO phenomenon.I know it's more then a little unsettling to think we have more to do with this enigma then we might have previously considered. That we through some mechanism we don't fully understand, open doors between them and us. The next part of that scenario is what happens when we do. Who are they, and what do they want? You have to assume they want something, or they wouldn't bother coming. Then there's how we perceive them, probably my biggest issue with the whole thing.

I recently heard someone talking on a radio or web program about the human brain, and that the brain does act in many ways like a dampening agent on our overall perception. That it filters outer reality so we can function without being overwhelmed. My thought, if that's true.. might be the source of my own fear. When confronted by this enigma, I feel a sense of "hyper reality". I cannot adequately describe it, other then being overwhelmingly aware far past the point of it being tolerable. It's downright frightening. But around these beings, it's par for the course... and it makes them very hard to be around. "Hyper-reality", seems to make everything... the air, sounds, vision... all hone down to such ridiculous clarity, it's as if you're seeing the world as it really exists for the first time. All of it. At once.

It's also incredibly surrealistic. There are very deep things I could describe here of the feeling, but I'll leave it for another time... suffice it to say these beings can see, and touch you in places and in ways no one on this planet ever could (insert your favorite anal probe joke here). As if they reach into the real you. Not the one the world sees, or the mask you put on to face the public everyday... the you, that you barely acknowledge in daily life. Much more the you, that you were as a child when everything was new. Do you believe we lose innocence? I don't think we do, I tend to think we build walls around it, and then we seem to forget that part of us.

So, no... Jeff doesn't think this is all about little green men (or taupe, if you prefer) in spaceships. If you're completely married to that notion, then none of what I say is likely to make any sense to you. I don't rule out the ETH, but I really see no evidence for it. What I've seen is a research community that routinely doesn't want to acknowledge these very significant and strange parts of the subject, probably because they don't know where to go with it, or because it could negate their aggressively defended theories they've sold to the public at large. It's also so incredibly weird, that they assume the public just won't accept the idea. I don't know when these people will realize their theories are not a commodity to be sold to others as the reality of the matter at hand. I don't think the easy answer is going to apply to this complex of a subject.

One that can exist on the edge of our perception, or manifest to hyper-reality.

 

Reposted from front page... 

Sorry that I've been so spotty with my posts here, but as usual life has gotten in the way and sucked the time right away from me. Finally work has simmered a bit and my sleep habits are starting to even out. I've been up writing til 2 and 3 am just about every night for 2 weeks on the book so I'm caught up a bit from where I didn't get anything done.

I've been thinking seriously about the project I'm doing in league with Jeremy Vaeni's Culture of Contact, so I want to give essentially a little overview of what's going to happen with it.

I have said for many years that this enigma (UFOs) seem to manifest for me and others based somewhat on the amount of time devoted to the subject in intense pondering, or thought. This is not to go the route of getting yourself so hyper sensitive or even paranoid that every light or odd thing seen or experienced is the enigma, but that undeniable events seem to occur, and not just for me but those around me.

Largely this hasn't been accepted nor studied by mainstream UFO research. However, many have noticed it and if you're an experiencer, you know exactly what I mean.

This is one thing UFOlogy doesn't want to talk much about (as most are too obsessed and married to theories with hybrid breeding programs and regression hypnotherapy)...I feel this could be a possible clue as to the potential nature of the phenomenon and cannot be ignored.

Several weeks ago now, I became intensely interested in the Dorothy Izatt case. I must have watched the documentary 10 times and became fascinated with her account of the experience's changeling effect based on her mindset. (i.e. negative experiences when she became suspicious or frightened about the enigma, and more benign when she centered her thoughts towards curiosity rather then fear.)

There it is again. Tailored to expectation.

By the way, while engrossed in her case, my wife and I had a sighting of a pearlish silver ball going over the house next door...during daylight and undeniably something very weird. I remember my wife saying "ok maybe you need to back off". She's personally seen this "the more you give the more you get" scenario happen many times. I also had 2 more significant events during that period I'll discuss later.

I have not had a full blown experience per se in almost 10 years. I also have not entrenched myself as deeply in the subject as I was back at that time. My experiences ceased (which began at approx. age 5) by disassociating myself with the subject almost completely. I read no books, watched damned few documentaries, and didn't ponder on the subject much if at all. In essence I denied it to myself. From myself.

So, if I dug myself in again, would it return. If it did, could I document it in any way? Would it mean anything if I did?

This is the future home of "WALK", which will be an interactive experiment you can follow week to week, to possibly prove a point (or alternatively disprove it) about the visitation scenario. This blog is affiliated with the Culture of Contact homepage.

 Stay Tuned. This could be good.