Posts
Once you start spotting the signs that you have a creeping, sneaking, cheating spouse on your hands, there is no way you can ever just brush that knowledge under the carpet.
Even if you're not the confrontational type, there is no way you can just forget about what you suspect and carry on as though nothing is wrong - well at least not in anyway that is healthy or good for you.
If you're like me, you want to get the proof and then confront your cheating spouse with what you have found out. However for most people, figuring out how to catch a cheating spouse isn't easy.
Truth is catching a cheating spouse is pretty straightforward with all the great guides and software that's available online these and if you have even a suspicion that your spouse is doing the dirty on you, then you owe it to yourself and your sanity to find out once and for all just what and where.
The best way is to run a reverse cell lookup on the numbers in their cell phone. You will discover the name of their lover, where they live and other personal information about your spouse's lover. And so, the question about who your spouse is cheating on you with will be answered.
You can also track what your spouse is doing online if you suspect them of cheating on you via email or certain websites. So great is the software that helps you track your spouse's activity online is that once you set it up, then it's like you're sitting right next to your spouse as they're online and they won't even know you're watching.
Another great thing about this software is that the evidence that you recover is eligible to be used in court. So that if you want to end the marriage or the relationship, then you can do so and have stand up proof of your spouse's cheating.
About the Author:
Mo Simpson
Don't make your spouse make a fool of you! Find out how to catch a cheating spouse by clicking on the link! You have to take care of yourself and make sure that your spouse does not abuse and humiliate you any further. Click the link today and find out what's going on behind your back!
http://isyourspousecheatingonyou.com/how-to-catch-a-cheating-spouse-review
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Relationships Today Follow the Rules of a Sexy Game, Not Love
Falling in love isn’t what it used to be. Rather than looking for mutual trusting relationships, young men and women today play a sexy game to win all the satisfaction they can and envy of all around them.
In fact, there isn’t a lot of love involved at all. Why do you think marriages so often fail? In today’s sexy game the biggest relationship faux pas is to show you are more romantically interested in another person than they are in you. That naïve mistake is what sets people up for heart ache and drives them, ironically, even deeper into the sexy game.
In the sexy game most young people play today, the goal is to get what you want and make sure everyone else sees how successful you are. The tools of the sexy game are manipulation and deception.
What men want is physical satisfaction and freedom. Women know what men want. So women get really good at using their physical assets and they know how to make men think they have freedom. Women use these tools to get what they want in the sexy game.
What women want is money and control. Men know what women want. So they position themselves to provide the steadiest supply of money and give women the illusion of control to maximize their ROI.
Men and women who are adept at the sexy game know that their partners are trying to manipulate them and know how they are trying to do it. A man’s desire for freedom is in direct opposition to a woman’s desire for control. It is very important for both sides in the sexy game to believe they are winning the manipulation war – that they are getting more value than they are giving. So men play dumb and needy and regulate the money supply. Women play up their emotions and regulate physical affection. They use these tactics to make the other think he or she is in jeopardy of losing the source of his or her satisfaction. This ongoing struggle is the basis of the sexy game.
Another important part of the sexy game is optimizing the number of partners you are manipulating without making it obvious that’s what you are doing. Failure to keep this a secret from one of your partners can often be a relationship breaker that will domino to other partners. Vagueness in the level of your relationships is important in the sexy game. Even if you are openly dating one partner, it is possible to maintain other undefined relationships in close proximity. Both men and women engage in this practice. Common euphemisms for it include “innocent flirting” and “keeping one’s options open.”
A skilled sexy game player can maintain several undefined relationships, continually making his or her undefined partners think the relationship is on the verge of moving to the next level.
Although most play in the sexy game is done within “romantic” relationships. The score of the game is determined in comparison to peers. Both men and women report their feats of sexy game play to roommates, friends, siblings, etc. and this is where their success is judged. This is the part of the sexy game where kissing and telling is appropriate.
Men and women differ in how they go about it. It is most common for a man to describe in detail his physical exploits and the thoughtlessness with which he asserts his freedom in the face of the woman’s desire for control in conversations involving three or more males. “Fish stories” and even out right lies are common here. If a man tells a story another man believes to be false, the doubter may go to great lengths to expose the lie and destroy the relationship in question all, of course, in an effort to improve his own standing in the sexy game.
Women generally find showing more effective than telling to report their sexy game exploits. Money spent on a woman is easy for her to show off to other women. Jewelry, flowers, tickets to plays are all excellent trophies. Women magnify the importance of the gifts and brandish their control in relationships by feigning confusion about what to do about men who are obviously more interested in her than she is in them. Only when desperate do women try to fake gifts, like sending flowers to themselves. If caught in this practice, it is very difficult to rebuild one’s standing in the sexy game.
I hope this article has given you a better understanding of the rules of the sexy game. You may prefer not to acknowledge you are participating in the sexy game and simply apply the principles to your relationships. That’s ok. The most important rule of the sexy game is to appear to everyone else to be completely ignorant of it.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: 10x Marketing
Mat Moniker is a writer for Innuity and a student of relationship building. For tools to aid you in your play of the sexy game, go to Intimate Collections.
http://innuity.com/
In fact, there isn’t a lot of love involved at all. Why do you think marriages so often fail? In today’s sexy game the biggest relationship faux pas is to show you are more romantically interested in another person than they are in you. That naïve mistake is what sets people up for heart ache and drives them, ironically, even deeper into the sexy game.
In the sexy game most young people play today, the goal is to get what you want and make sure everyone else sees how successful you are. The tools of the sexy game are manipulation and deception.
What men want is physical satisfaction and freedom. Women know what men want. So women get really good at using their physical assets and they know how to make men think they have freedom. Women use these tools to get what they want in the sexy game.
What women want is money and control. Men know what women want. So they position themselves to provide the steadiest supply of money and give women the illusion of control to maximize their ROI.
Men and women who are adept at the sexy game know that their partners are trying to manipulate them and know how they are trying to do it. A man’s desire for freedom is in direct opposition to a woman’s desire for control. It is very important for both sides in the sexy game to believe they are winning the manipulation war – that they are getting more value than they are giving. So men play dumb and needy and regulate the money supply. Women play up their emotions and regulate physical affection. They use these tactics to make the other think he or she is in jeopardy of losing the source of his or her satisfaction. This ongoing struggle is the basis of the sexy game.
Another important part of the sexy game is optimizing the number of partners you are manipulating without making it obvious that’s what you are doing. Failure to keep this a secret from one of your partners can often be a relationship breaker that will domino to other partners. Vagueness in the level of your relationships is important in the sexy game. Even if you are openly dating one partner, it is possible to maintain other undefined relationships in close proximity. Both men and women engage in this practice. Common euphemisms for it include “innocent flirting” and “keeping one’s options open.”
A skilled sexy game player can maintain several undefined relationships, continually making his or her undefined partners think the relationship is on the verge of moving to the next level.
Although most play in the sexy game is done within “romantic” relationships. The score of the game is determined in comparison to peers. Both men and women report their feats of sexy game play to roommates, friends, siblings, etc. and this is where their success is judged. This is the part of the sexy game where kissing and telling is appropriate.
Men and women differ in how they go about it. It is most common for a man to describe in detail his physical exploits and the thoughtlessness with which he asserts his freedom in the face of the woman’s desire for control in conversations involving three or more males. “Fish stories” and even out right lies are common here. If a man tells a story another man believes to be false, the doubter may go to great lengths to expose the lie and destroy the relationship in question all, of course, in an effort to improve his own standing in the sexy game.
Women generally find showing more effective than telling to report their sexy game exploits. Money spent on a woman is easy for her to show off to other women. Jewelry, flowers, tickets to plays are all excellent trophies. Women magnify the importance of the gifts and brandish their control in relationships by feigning confusion about what to do about men who are obviously more interested in her than she is in them. Only when desperate do women try to fake gifts, like sending flowers to themselves. If caught in this practice, it is very difficult to rebuild one’s standing in the sexy game.
I hope this article has given you a better understanding of the rules of the sexy game. You may prefer not to acknowledge you are participating in the sexy game and simply apply the principles to your relationships. That’s ok. The most important rule of the sexy game is to appear to everyone else to be completely ignorant of it.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: 10x Marketing
Mat Moniker is a writer for Innuity and a student of relationship building. For tools to aid you in your play of the sexy game, go to Intimate Collections.
http://innuity.com/
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Finding a Relationship is Harder Than you Think
Have you ever asked yourself that you were going to find someone and be in a relationship, and then you realized it was harder than you have thought?
Everyone goes through this stage and it’s kind of funny that most people plan how they are going to do it and where it’s going to take place. One thing that they forgot is WHEN they are going to do it. I remember in High School, I told myself that I would find someone and be in relationship after I graduate. Five years later, I am still single and keep telling myself ‘when’. There were a few opportunities in front of me that got to waste and now I am stuck writing my thoughts about love and relationships.
One thing I learned is never say something you might not do unless you conquer a fear. My fear was and still is rejection. Everyone gets rejected once in a while--whether is not being accepted for a particular college or not getting a student loan to pay off your classes. These situations are not the best feeling in the world, but we got to move on. Finding a relationship is harder than you think. If you think you can just walk up to someone and end up dating them, you have a 25% chance. Let me tell you why.
First, you do not know that person. Walking up to a complete stranger is creepy for them unless they are open-minded. There goes your 25% (75% remaining).
Second, if they are not freaked out by your approach, you will have to initiate a good conversation as well as carry it. First impression is always important. If they are turned off by your conversation, there goes another 25%. (50% remaining)
Third, if you pass first and second, you have a 50% chance to get their number. If you do, call them up and set up a date. However, do it the very next day. (Still 50% remaining)
Finally, the person agreed to spend a day with you. You do everything fine up until you fall into that “qualifying trap”. You know, basically answering their questions while not trying to mess up. If you don’t impress them, there goes another 25%. (25% remaining)
There you go, you have a 25% percent chance to get a second date. If the person agrees for second date, most likely they thought about giving you another chance. To increase your chances, you need to do what the situation takes you. Do not go overboard and try to impress that person with words. Remember this, actions speak louder than words. Let them see what you like to do. Be in a situation that you feel comfortable in. You will reel them into your comfort level.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Loveworth
This article is written by the authors of Loveworth.com. Please visit http://www.loveworth.com to express your feelings or thoughts.
Everyone goes through this stage and it’s kind of funny that most people plan how they are going to do it and where it’s going to take place. One thing that they forgot is WHEN they are going to do it. I remember in High School, I told myself that I would find someone and be in relationship after I graduate. Five years later, I am still single and keep telling myself ‘when’. There were a few opportunities in front of me that got to waste and now I am stuck writing my thoughts about love and relationships.
One thing I learned is never say something you might not do unless you conquer a fear. My fear was and still is rejection. Everyone gets rejected once in a while--whether is not being accepted for a particular college or not getting a student loan to pay off your classes. These situations are not the best feeling in the world, but we got to move on. Finding a relationship is harder than you think. If you think you can just walk up to someone and end up dating them, you have a 25% chance. Let me tell you why.
First, you do not know that person. Walking up to a complete stranger is creepy for them unless they are open-minded. There goes your 25% (75% remaining).
Second, if they are not freaked out by your approach, you will have to initiate a good conversation as well as carry it. First impression is always important. If they are turned off by your conversation, there goes another 25%. (50% remaining)
Third, if you pass first and second, you have a 50% chance to get their number. If you do, call them up and set up a date. However, do it the very next day. (Still 50% remaining)
Finally, the person agreed to spend a day with you. You do everything fine up until you fall into that “qualifying trap”. You know, basically answering their questions while not trying to mess up. If you don’t impress them, there goes another 25%. (25% remaining)
There you go, you have a 25% percent chance to get a second date. If the person agrees for second date, most likely they thought about giving you another chance. To increase your chances, you need to do what the situation takes you. Do not go overboard and try to impress that person with words. Remember this, actions speak louder than words. Let them see what you like to do. Be in a situation that you feel comfortable in. You will reel them into your comfort level.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Loveworth
This article is written by the authors of Loveworth.com. Please visit http://www.loveworth.com to express your feelings or thoughts.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Getting Your Exgirlfriend Back - The Worst Mistakes You Can Make!
Fixing a break up requires patience and strategy. To successfully get back together with an ex, it's not only what you do - it's what you DON'T do that matters. Making critical mistakes during the break up can cause your ex to see you completely differently than she once did (and not in a good way). Below you'll find the most common blunders guys make just after a girlfriend dumps them:
Crying Over the Relationship - Weakness is always bad, especially when you're trying to get your ex to want you again. Women always like men who are strong and confident... not men who are weak, begging, or groveling for their relationship back. No girl wants to get back together with a sobbing, crying mess of an ex-boyfriend. Vulnerability might be cute in a girl, but never in a guy. Therefore, you can never show your ex just how much the break up is upsetting you. Seeing you like this will only justify the end of the relationship in her mind.
Promising Change - Hopefully you'd never ask someone to change for you, so no one should be asking you either. Promising to your ex that you'll change your ways is always a big mistake. Even if she were to take you back based on that promise, you could never fulfill it. On top of that, you'd be changing into something other than what she wants. Chances are your ex fell in love with you for who you are. Try to think back to the beginning of your relationship, and if anything, change your behaviors back to the person you were then. But trying to fit into the mold of what your ex "wants" in a boyfriend will never work. Even by attempting to do this, you're letting her walk all over you.
Excessively Contacting Your Ex - After she breaks up with you, there's actually no reason to be contacting her at all. Not until you've stepped back, dropped out of sight, and given your ex a chance to miss you. Try to remember that nothing you can say or do - not through email, text-message, on the phone, (or even Twitter!) will ever convince your ex that she should take you back. In fact, your ex won't date you until she emotionally misses and wants you again. You can accomplish this by adhering to the old adage: "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Not by bombarding her with phone calls, emails, or by contacting your exgirlfriend twenty times a day.
Making Demands or Giving Ultimatums - Trying to control your ex while you're dating is a really bad move. Trying to do it after she breaks up with you? Even worse. Not only are you in no position to be making any requests from her, but once your deadline comes and goes you're going to look very stupid. You cannot follow through on any threats or demands you make of an ex that ended your relationship. If you want to win back your girlfriend, you'll keep your cool.
Rebounding To Make Her Jealous - After the hurt of being dumped wears off, many guys try to numb the pain by jumping back into an old girlfriend's bed. This might work for a night or two, but once you realize you still love your exgirlfriend it's usually too late. You've just done something that, if it gets back to your ex, will cause irreparable damage to any new relationship the two of you might build together. When you get back with your ex girlfriend she's always going to remember and resent you for what you did, and it's something you can never undo. Trying to make your ex jealous by hooking up with another girl is a bad idea also. Just don't do it.
About the Author:
Anthony Malibu
These are only some of the worst mistakes made while trying to get your girlfriend back. And for guys looking to reconnect, check out these other great methods for Contacting Your Ex.
http://www.howtogetbackanexgirlfriend.com/getting-an-ex-back-mistakes.php
Crying Over the Relationship - Weakness is always bad, especially when you're trying to get your ex to want you again. Women always like men who are strong and confident... not men who are weak, begging, or groveling for their relationship back. No girl wants to get back together with a sobbing, crying mess of an ex-boyfriend. Vulnerability might be cute in a girl, but never in a guy. Therefore, you can never show your ex just how much the break up is upsetting you. Seeing you like this will only justify the end of the relationship in her mind.
Promising Change - Hopefully you'd never ask someone to change for you, so no one should be asking you either. Promising to your ex that you'll change your ways is always a big mistake. Even if she were to take you back based on that promise, you could never fulfill it. On top of that, you'd be changing into something other than what she wants. Chances are your ex fell in love with you for who you are. Try to think back to the beginning of your relationship, and if anything, change your behaviors back to the person you were then. But trying to fit into the mold of what your ex "wants" in a boyfriend will never work. Even by attempting to do this, you're letting her walk all over you.
Excessively Contacting Your Ex - After she breaks up with you, there's actually no reason to be contacting her at all. Not until you've stepped back, dropped out of sight, and given your ex a chance to miss you. Try to remember that nothing you can say or do - not through email, text-message, on the phone, (or even Twitter!) will ever convince your ex that she should take you back. In fact, your ex won't date you until she emotionally misses and wants you again. You can accomplish this by adhering to the old adage: "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Not by bombarding her with phone calls, emails, or by contacting your exgirlfriend twenty times a day.
Making Demands or Giving Ultimatums - Trying to control your ex while you're dating is a really bad move. Trying to do it after she breaks up with you? Even worse. Not only are you in no position to be making any requests from her, but once your deadline comes and goes you're going to look very stupid. You cannot follow through on any threats or demands you make of an ex that ended your relationship. If you want to win back your girlfriend, you'll keep your cool.
Rebounding To Make Her Jealous - After the hurt of being dumped wears off, many guys try to numb the pain by jumping back into an old girlfriend's bed. This might work for a night or two, but once you realize you still love your exgirlfriend it's usually too late. You've just done something that, if it gets back to your ex, will cause irreparable damage to any new relationship the two of you might build together. When you get back with your ex girlfriend she's always going to remember and resent you for what you did, and it's something you can never undo. Trying to make your ex jealous by hooking up with another girl is a bad idea also. Just don't do it.
About the Author:
Anthony Malibu
These are only some of the worst mistakes made while trying to get your girlfriend back. And for guys looking to reconnect, check out these other great methods for Contacting Your Ex.
http://www.howtogetbackanexgirlfriend.com/getting-an-ex-back-mistakes.php
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Is Your Husband Not in Love Anymore? How to Recapture His Heart
Being married is an adventure unto itself. Some days you have no question that you did the right thing choosing that man to be your husband. Other days you start to wonder if the path you took was really the best for you. Marriages change over time and if you start feeling as though you are living with a husband not in love anymore, it's very distressing. There are things you can do to help your husband fall back in love with you again.
One of the reasons for a husband not in love anymore has to do with stress. Stress is unfortunately, a part of everyone's life. How we deal with that stress is the determining factor in whether it affects our lives in a negative way or not. If you and your husband have been dealing with an ongoing stressful situation it can start to undermine the foundation of your relationship. If you have been on opposing sides of any issue, now is the time to smooth things over. Compromise is a crucial part of any fulfilling relationship so you need to be willing to see his side of the issue and try and understand his position. Overcoming even the smallest of conflicts can really help strengthen the bond between a husband and his wife.
Think back to when you and your husband first fell in love. Many women change dramatically after marriage which can contribute to the issue of a husband not in love anymore. Physical appearance may play a small part, but the inner changes seem to be what matter the most. If you were a carefree, fun loving young woman who has become frustrated and angry with life, this will most definitely impact your relationship with your husband. Try to become the woman your spouse initially fell in love with. Remember that if he loved you deeply once, he can again.
About the Author:
Gillian Reynolds
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to fall in love with you all over again. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. If you want your husband to fall even deeper in love with you now than when you two first married, visit this helpful site. You don't have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you. Find out here what you need to be doing to ensure your husband loves you always.
http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-make-your-husband-fall-in-love-with-you
One of the reasons for a husband not in love anymore has to do with stress. Stress is unfortunately, a part of everyone's life. How we deal with that stress is the determining factor in whether it affects our lives in a negative way or not. If you and your husband have been dealing with an ongoing stressful situation it can start to undermine the foundation of your relationship. If you have been on opposing sides of any issue, now is the time to smooth things over. Compromise is a crucial part of any fulfilling relationship so you need to be willing to see his side of the issue and try and understand his position. Overcoming even the smallest of conflicts can really help strengthen the bond between a husband and his wife.
Think back to when you and your husband first fell in love. Many women change dramatically after marriage which can contribute to the issue of a husband not in love anymore. Physical appearance may play a small part, but the inner changes seem to be what matter the most. If you were a carefree, fun loving young woman who has become frustrated and angry with life, this will most definitely impact your relationship with your husband. Try to become the woman your spouse initially fell in love with. Remember that if he loved you deeply once, he can again.
About the Author:
Gillian Reynolds
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to fall in love with you all over again. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. If you want your husband to fall even deeper in love with you now than when you two first married, visit this helpful site. You don't have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you. Find out here what you need to be doing to ensure your husband loves you always.
http://www.squidoo.com/how-to-make-your-husband-fall-in-love-with-you
Saturday, June 20, 2009
The Simple Truth About Falling And Living In Love
We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. Unfortunately, most of us, unaware of this, become resigned to disappointment, loss and upset in relationships. No matter how successful we are in other aspects of our lives, many do not feel entitled to the same success in love. This is considered natural as one "grows up" and gives up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood. But nothing could be further from the truth. It is the fantasies, foolishness, and confused expectations we develop as we grow older that keep the love away.
Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, "We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love."
If being in love is our natural state the real question is, what is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it and return to the intrinsic trust and joy we had as children?
Many fear they will be hurt. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives. There is a Buddhist saying "Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you." But most of us do not know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships.
Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can begin to do this and turn our lives around at any time.
To begin this process, let us look a little deeper. It always seems as if relationships are difficult-difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love.
Some complain that they can't love because there is something wrong with the person they are with. No one can please or satisfy them. In the beginning they may feel as though they've found the perfect person, but before they know it, conflict develops, irritation grows. The joy of feeling loved and valued, fades away. Most people have no idea why.
Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, not falling in love, is not so unusual. In fact, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love.Spiritually speaking, there's a different point of view. Is a person's very life at stake if they aren't able to truly love? The answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a "Hungry Ghost."
But we can change this at any moment. To begin we suspend judgment and disbelief, become willing to become a child once again - explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities. We also must develop the ability to say No to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away. We need to be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves). And, somehow, let them know.
Falling in love doesn't mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light. During this holiday season, let's give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts a long, long time.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Brenda Shoshanna
Discover surprising truths about love in top program Save Your Relationship (21 Laws of Successful Relationships).Psych.,Founder of Everyone Wins Mediation has helped thousands resolve conflict and be happy and strong. Free ezine www.newyorkmediates.com
Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals, the heart is happy. As a great teacher once said, "We never ask the meaning of life when we are in love."
If being in love is our natural state the real question is, what is it that keeps this most precious inheritance away? How can we reclaim it and return to the intrinsic trust and joy we had as children?
Many fear they will be hurt. But contrary to popular opinion, real love never hurts or wounds. It is only our confused expectations that can undermine our lives. There is a Buddhist saying "Give up poisonous food wherever it is offered to you." But most of us do not know what is poison and what is nourishing in our relationships.
Once we know the difference between real and counterfeit love, once we learn the laws of love and how to practice them, we will be able to live a life of love and build relationships that cannot fail. The fact of the matter is that we can begin to do this and turn our lives around at any time.
To begin this process, let us look a little deeper. It always seems as if relationships are difficult-difficult to find, to keep and to enjoy. Yet the fundamental truth is that there is no inherent problem with relationships at all. There is never a scarcity of relationships, there is never a scarcity of love.
Some complain that they can't love because there is something wrong with the person they are with. No one can please or satisfy them. In the beginning they may feel as though they've found the perfect person, but before they know it, conflict develops, irritation grows. The joy of feeling loved and valued, fades away. Most people have no idea why.
Ultimately, from the psychological point of view, not falling in love, is not so unusual. In fact, many can do very well, become quite healthy, and yet never get over their disappointments in love.Spiritually speaking, there's a different point of view. Is a person's very life at stake if they aren't able to truly love? The answer is Yes. Without the ability to know real love, the precious taste of this life is thwarted, and a person may be doomed to living her days as a "Hungry Ghost."
But we can change this at any moment. To begin we suspend judgment and disbelief, become willing to become a child once again - explore, play, hug, cry and feel that the world is filled with endless possibilities. We also must develop the ability to say No to all of the people, beliefs, habits and desires which can take our faith and love away. We need to be willing to allow ourselves to look for and find that which is beautiful and worthwhile in everyone, (including ourselves). And, somehow, let them know.
Falling in love doesn't mean being blind, or entering into fantasy. It means waking up out of darkened dreams to finally see the beauty which surrounds us. A little endurance is required, along with the willingness to face the shadows that will dispel as soon as we invite in the light. During this holiday season, let's give it a try. It only takes a moment to do so, but the happiness lasts a long, long time.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Brenda Shoshanna
Discover surprising truths about love in top program Save Your Relationship (21 Laws of Successful Relationships).Psych.,Founder of Everyone Wins Mediation has helped thousands resolve conflict and be happy and strong. Free ezine www.newyorkmediates.com
Friday, June 19, 2009
To Be Loved Is To Love
Ernie Larson, author of "Stage II Recovery" and other works, uses a wonderful metaphor for relationships. If you picture yourself as a telephone pole, he says, and the other person as a telephone pole, you can see your relationship as the line strung between you. You can't hold up both ends by yourself.
I tell you that, because I want to tell you this: There's a lot of wonderful relationship advice to be found in spiritual writings and teachings. But if you try to use it on another person, hoping against hope that s/he will pick up the other end of the telephone line, it won't work.
If you are trying to relate to someone who hits you, cheats on you, ignores you until they want sex, or otherwise uses you in any way, then you are not in a relationship with that person. This relationship advice article does not apply to the two of you. What you have is a trauma bond, and I trust you to seek professional help, if that's what it takes, to extricate yourself.
For those connections with others that can honestly be called relationships, I have gathered some powerful relationship advice in my years of study and practice in conscious spiritual living.
The first thing to know is that there is unlimited love for you in this universe. You'll receive it as soon as you're willing to, and as soon as you quit dictating where you think it should come from and how it should be delivered. Be present to your life, and you'll see love showing up in the most unexpected places.
The second principle of relationship advice is that a relationship cannot be a closed system of two. If it is, it won't be a relationship for long. There needs to be space in any relationship for other friends, family, as well as room for Spirit to work in you and your loved one. Your primary relationship must be with your own concept of Spirit. All other relationships will fall into place.
The last thing I want to offer you will improve your communication skills. It's a copy of the Peace Prayer of St. Francis. No one really knows who wrote it, but this centuries old poem is packed with relationship advice.
Make me an instrument of Thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, harmony;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine!
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born into eternal life.
Practice the principles of this prayer in all of your relationships, and you'll find that your life full of the kind of relationships you really want.
Amy Biddle has been a lifetime student and teacher of spiritual principles. Spiritual Healing Secrets is a fast-growing resource for anyone who wants to improve her or himself, or simply to learn practical spiritual principles. Let Amy help you improve your life! Discover the secrets at http://www.spiritual-healing-secrets.com
I tell you that, because I want to tell you this: There's a lot of wonderful relationship advice to be found in spiritual writings and teachings. But if you try to use it on another person, hoping against hope that s/he will pick up the other end of the telephone line, it won't work.
If you are trying to relate to someone who hits you, cheats on you, ignores you until they want sex, or otherwise uses you in any way, then you are not in a relationship with that person. This relationship advice article does not apply to the two of you. What you have is a trauma bond, and I trust you to seek professional help, if that's what it takes, to extricate yourself.
For those connections with others that can honestly be called relationships, I have gathered some powerful relationship advice in my years of study and practice in conscious spiritual living.
The first thing to know is that there is unlimited love for you in this universe. You'll receive it as soon as you're willing to, and as soon as you quit dictating where you think it should come from and how it should be delivered. Be present to your life, and you'll see love showing up in the most unexpected places.
The second principle of relationship advice is that a relationship cannot be a closed system of two. If it is, it won't be a relationship for long. There needs to be space in any relationship for other friends, family, as well as room for Spirit to work in you and your loved one. Your primary relationship must be with your own concept of Spirit. All other relationships will fall into place.
The last thing I want to offer you will improve your communication skills. It's a copy of the Peace Prayer of St. Francis. No one really knows who wrote it, but this centuries old poem is packed with relationship advice.
Make me an instrument of Thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, harmony;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine!
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born into eternal life.
Practice the principles of this prayer in all of your relationships, and you'll find that your life full of the kind of relationships you really want.
Amy Biddle has been a lifetime student and teacher of spiritual principles. Spiritual Healing Secrets is a fast-growing resource for anyone who wants to improve her or himself, or simply to learn practical spiritual principles. Let Amy help you improve your life! Discover the secrets at http://www.spiritual-healing-secrets.com
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Getting Back With An Ex - Getting Over The Break Up
Separating with your girlfriend or boyfriend can be a very painful experience. Like a lot of women and men who have just experience a separation, you are probably not sure what you can do next.
Well, this is very understandable. Ultimately, a breakup can be a huge blow to many guys and gals. One day, you can be happily chatting to your honey. Tomorrow, your boyfriend or girlfriend decided to breakup with you.
People who have been through a breakup will without a doubt understand this experience. In the article that follows, you will learn a few tips that will hopefully help you in getting an ex back. Read on to discover more!
Getting back with an ex can be an "Elephant Task" and it is definitely not something that you can do overnight. If you have just broken up with your ex, you are probably feeling quite emotional now and probably a bit depressed. This is completely understandable.
However, if you want to get your ex back, you cannot and should not stay depressed. Being and staying depress is not going to help you get your ex back and will instead push your ex further away.
Therefore, you will want to get over the break up as soon as possible. You want to heal yourself emotionally. This will give you a clearer mind to think about what you really want from your relationship and puts you in a better position to handle your relationship problems.
Here are a few ways that you can use to make yourself feel better.
1) Crying
Crying can be a very healthy way to let go of any pent up emotional tension. And don't worry. You do not have to cry in front of any people in order for crying to be effective. You can always do it when no one else is looking. For example, in your own room.
2) Getting A Good Workout
Exercising is a very good way to improve your emotional state. And it also keeps you fit and healthy. Talk about killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Try it. You can feel so much better. Any sports will do. For example, tennis is a good one. Strike the ball hard. Vent your frustration. Of course, be careful. You do not want to end up injuring yourself or your friends. If you do not like tennis, jogging can also be a good choice.
Getting back together with an ex is usually not an easy mission. And when you feel emotionally exhausted, it can be very easy for you to make mistakes that will drive your ex further away.
However, if you really believe that this relationship is worth salvaging, then do not give up so easily. Although getting an lover back is not child's play, it is not impossible either.
You might dread committing mistakes. Well, some common mistakes can be avoided easily once you know them. By the way, I hope you have gained something helpful in the article that will assist you in getting your ex lover back.
About the Author:
Getting Back With An Ex Advice Watch a video that shows you exactly what to do, what not to do and why. You will also learn how to correct those mistakes you have already made. Getting Back With An Ex Advice
http://winmyloverback.com/getting-back-together-after-a-break-up/
Well, this is very understandable. Ultimately, a breakup can be a huge blow to many guys and gals. One day, you can be happily chatting to your honey. Tomorrow, your boyfriend or girlfriend decided to breakup with you.
People who have been through a breakup will without a doubt understand this experience. In the article that follows, you will learn a few tips that will hopefully help you in getting an ex back. Read on to discover more!
Getting back with an ex can be an "Elephant Task" and it is definitely not something that you can do overnight. If you have just broken up with your ex, you are probably feeling quite emotional now and probably a bit depressed. This is completely understandable.
However, if you want to get your ex back, you cannot and should not stay depressed. Being and staying depress is not going to help you get your ex back and will instead push your ex further away.
Therefore, you will want to get over the break up as soon as possible. You want to heal yourself emotionally. This will give you a clearer mind to think about what you really want from your relationship and puts you in a better position to handle your relationship problems.
Here are a few ways that you can use to make yourself feel better.
1) Crying
Crying can be a very healthy way to let go of any pent up emotional tension. And don't worry. You do not have to cry in front of any people in order for crying to be effective. You can always do it when no one else is looking. For example, in your own room.
2) Getting A Good Workout
Exercising is a very good way to improve your emotional state. And it also keeps you fit and healthy. Talk about killing 2 birds with 1 stone. Try it. You can feel so much better. Any sports will do. For example, tennis is a good one. Strike the ball hard. Vent your frustration. Of course, be careful. You do not want to end up injuring yourself or your friends. If you do not like tennis, jogging can also be a good choice.
Getting back together with an ex is usually not an easy mission. And when you feel emotionally exhausted, it can be very easy for you to make mistakes that will drive your ex further away.
However, if you really believe that this relationship is worth salvaging, then do not give up so easily. Although getting an lover back is not child's play, it is not impossible either.
You might dread committing mistakes. Well, some common mistakes can be avoided easily once you know them. By the way, I hope you have gained something helpful in the article that will assist you in getting your ex lover back.
About the Author:
Getting Back With An Ex Advice Watch a video that shows you exactly what to do, what not to do and why. You will also learn how to correct those mistakes you have already made. Getting Back With An Ex Advice
http://winmyloverback.com/getting-back-together-after-a-break-up/
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Put The Love Back Into Your Relationship Through Radical Thinking
So you're in a relationship that you've been in for a while; it's become mundane, you no longer yearn for each others' smile or touch; in fact, everything your partner does has the ability to irritate you…but you don't want to join the ranks of the dissatisfied singles either. You don't want to have affairs. What can you do to rewind time, to "get back that loving feeling"? Because, if you're not willing to jump ship you may as well make the most of the boat you are in, and get back to a feeling of relaxed, happy, enjoyment with your partner. You are all too aware that it's better for them, you and the kids.
When something isn't working and you want it to work (no matter what that something is) a scientist would set aside all previous assumptions and start afresh. Every successful scientist knows that this is the way to go. All of the many great discoveries have been made as a result of a willingness to NOT to right. In order to rediscover each other, and to rediscover mutual respect and happiness, you have to first question what might happen if everything you thought was wrong might in fact be right?
This radical approach is exactly what is needed; unless you are willing to be wrong, you will not be able to make a new discovery. I don't just mean a willingness to see things from your partner's perspective; that isn't enough. That simply implies "I see my side and I see yours aswell". It doesn't reach deeper to your core beliefs about what is right and what is wrong. To create real and lasting change one must inspect the foundations beneath the surface, not just the structure which is visible above the surface.
Think of it in terms of pursuing a scientific goal. Let's take the discovery that the world is in fact round and not flat. If you as a scientist were not willing to be wrong and to turn things upside down, you could not then go on to discover that the earth orbits the sun, and so on. A willingness to revolve 180 degrees in the way in which you think is what opens the door to new experiences and new feelings. If you keep thinking the way you've always thought, you'll keep feeling the way you've been feeling. A radical change in your thinking is the only way in which to create a radical change in how you feel within your relationship.
This willingness to be radical in your thinking is what paves the pathway to a feeling of enlightenment. Then you will have created an environment which is conducive to the letting go of negative patterns of behavior and allowing the onset of the loving relationship which you deserve, and crave.
No matter how your relationship has been in the past, by choosing to think radically you can change and deliberately create the most wonderful fulfilling relationship. You can learn to relax your thoughts and calm your mind and feel a sense of inner peace and wellbeing. In this state new possibilities will present themselves to you and you will be able to imagine yourself and your partner as you want to be, feeling a deep sense of joy and bliss in your day to day life.
Once you have allowed yourself to question whether what you thought was wrong was indeed right, you may also find benefit in the use of self-hypnosis to further stimulate and re-generate love into your relationship. Hypnosis is normal and natural and allows access to your inner mind and so can be used very effectively to both release redundant feelings and also to stimulate new and exciting emotions.
You might find the idea of using hypnosis downloads or a hypnosis cd as radical aswell...!!
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
About the Author:
With a degree in psychology and qualifications in hypnotherapy, NLP and sports psychology, Roseanna Leaton is one of the leading practitioners of self-improvement. You can get a free hypnosis download from her website and peruse her extensive library of hypnosis downloads for relationship issues.
http://www.roseannaleaton.com/ProductList.aspx?SubCategoryID=59
When something isn't working and you want it to work (no matter what that something is) a scientist would set aside all previous assumptions and start afresh. Every successful scientist knows that this is the way to go. All of the many great discoveries have been made as a result of a willingness to NOT to right. In order to rediscover each other, and to rediscover mutual respect and happiness, you have to first question what might happen if everything you thought was wrong might in fact be right?
This radical approach is exactly what is needed; unless you are willing to be wrong, you will not be able to make a new discovery. I don't just mean a willingness to see things from your partner's perspective; that isn't enough. That simply implies "I see my side and I see yours aswell". It doesn't reach deeper to your core beliefs about what is right and what is wrong. To create real and lasting change one must inspect the foundations beneath the surface, not just the structure which is visible above the surface.
Think of it in terms of pursuing a scientific goal. Let's take the discovery that the world is in fact round and not flat. If you as a scientist were not willing to be wrong and to turn things upside down, you could not then go on to discover that the earth orbits the sun, and so on. A willingness to revolve 180 degrees in the way in which you think is what opens the door to new experiences and new feelings. If you keep thinking the way you've always thought, you'll keep feeling the way you've been feeling. A radical change in your thinking is the only way in which to create a radical change in how you feel within your relationship.
This willingness to be radical in your thinking is what paves the pathway to a feeling of enlightenment. Then you will have created an environment which is conducive to the letting go of negative patterns of behavior and allowing the onset of the loving relationship which you deserve, and crave.
No matter how your relationship has been in the past, by choosing to think radically you can change and deliberately create the most wonderful fulfilling relationship. You can learn to relax your thoughts and calm your mind and feel a sense of inner peace and wellbeing. In this state new possibilities will present themselves to you and you will be able to imagine yourself and your partner as you want to be, feeling a deep sense of joy and bliss in your day to day life.
Once you have allowed yourself to question whether what you thought was wrong was indeed right, you may also find benefit in the use of self-hypnosis to further stimulate and re-generate love into your relationship. Hypnosis is normal and natural and allows access to your inner mind and so can be used very effectively to both release redundant feelings and also to stimulate new and exciting emotions.
You might find the idea of using hypnosis downloads or a hypnosis cd as radical aswell...!!
Article Source: http://www.articlesnatch.com
About the Author:
With a degree in psychology and qualifications in hypnotherapy, NLP and sports psychology, Roseanna Leaton is one of the leading practitioners of self-improvement. You can get a free hypnosis download from her website and peruse her extensive library of hypnosis downloads for relationship issues.
http://www.roseannaleaton.com/ProductList.aspx?SubCategoryID=59
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Dealing With the Break Up of a Relationship
In my role as a psychologist/therapist I have met many women who were feeling miserable due to a failed relationship. In some instances their feelings verged on desperation as they told me they could not see a way for things to get better.
In these situations I always ask this question " if your sister or good friend were in the position you find yourself in now, how would you treat her?"
Invariably I get the same answer with slight variations. It goes like this. "I would encourage her to eat properly and get enough sleep. I would try to make her laugh and take her out of herself. I would buy her little gifts and treats to show her that she is special and loved"
My response is to say, "that's wonderful' thank you - Your answer has just told me what you need to be doing for yourself. As women we are nurturers' we care for others and yet often the last people we nurture are ourselves. Caring for ourselves isn't selfish it's practical. Caring for ourselves means that we have more to give to and share with others.
Its time to start being your own big sister and taking care of yourself. In a moment I'll explain a good way to start. First I would like us to look briefly at your thought process as you might be having thoughts that would stand in the way of your success.
You may be thinking to yourself I would like to bring more pleasure into my life but I don't have the time or money. The great news is it doesn't have to take a great deal of either. Some pleasures cost nothing, like taking a walk in the park on a sunny day - or a lie in - or curling up on the sofa with a favourite magazine or novel?
Most of the things we enjoy cost little and don't take up a great deal of time. The important thing is of course to take action on bringing more pleasure into your life not just think about it.
There is an exercise I do when working with groups which is along these lines. I ask each person to make a list of the things and situations that bring them pleasure and to say how often they indulge in them.
Participants are almost always surprised about how simple and inexpensive it would be to bring these pleasures into their lives or enjoy them more frequently. We all need and deserve pleasure so it's important to start bringing more of it into your life now.
Spend the next few days taking care of your needs and I promise you will start to feel better whatever your situation. But don't stop there. Let caring for yourself become a beneficial way of life beneficial for you and all those that you interact with.
Want to learn more about handling relationships succesfully see Eileen's website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk
In these situations I always ask this question " if your sister or good friend were in the position you find yourself in now, how would you treat her?"
Invariably I get the same answer with slight variations. It goes like this. "I would encourage her to eat properly and get enough sleep. I would try to make her laugh and take her out of herself. I would buy her little gifts and treats to show her that she is special and loved"
My response is to say, "that's wonderful' thank you - Your answer has just told me what you need to be doing for yourself. As women we are nurturers' we care for others and yet often the last people we nurture are ourselves. Caring for ourselves isn't selfish it's practical. Caring for ourselves means that we have more to give to and share with others.
Its time to start being your own big sister and taking care of yourself. In a moment I'll explain a good way to start. First I would like us to look briefly at your thought process as you might be having thoughts that would stand in the way of your success.
You may be thinking to yourself I would like to bring more pleasure into my life but I don't have the time or money. The great news is it doesn't have to take a great deal of either. Some pleasures cost nothing, like taking a walk in the park on a sunny day - or a lie in - or curling up on the sofa with a favourite magazine or novel?
Most of the things we enjoy cost little and don't take up a great deal of time. The important thing is of course to take action on bringing more pleasure into your life not just think about it.
There is an exercise I do when working with groups which is along these lines. I ask each person to make a list of the things and situations that bring them pleasure and to say how often they indulge in them.
Participants are almost always surprised about how simple and inexpensive it would be to bring these pleasures into their lives or enjoy them more frequently. We all need and deserve pleasure so it's important to start bringing more of it into your life now.
Spend the next few days taking care of your needs and I promise you will start to feel better whatever your situation. But don't stop there. Let caring for yourself become a beneficial way of life beneficial for you and all those that you interact with.
Want to learn more about handling relationships succesfully see Eileen's website http://www.eileenedwards.co.uk
Monday, June 15, 2009
Win Back A Love Of A Lifetime
Rekindling a romantic relationship from the past is quite acceptable. Remember those special moments you spent together that you wished would last, sadly all good things come to and end. You kept thinking what would have happened if the two of you were still together. But maybe they still might have feelings for you and want to take another chance with you as well.
It sounds like a plot from tragic love stories of long ago. Two star-crossed lovers who met at some point in time and sadly did not end up together simply because things did not work out right for them. They are only left with sweet memories of the good old days which they find hard to forget. Yearning to be together again and bring back the good times.
If you are at a point in time where you are alone and have failed in relationships since then, it could very well be that the one you dream of is supposed to be with you. Dont just sit around and reminisce, do something about it. If you dont know where they are now, find them. There are many things that you can do to find them. Use the resources you have available to win back a love.
Now that you found them, you might run into some issues. You need to find out if they are still available. You could send them an email saying that you were going through some stuff that brought back memories of times you had together. Ask them how they are doing and what are they up to.
Talk about your status. Don't be too obvious about your intentions; make them think you are not that interested. Let them be if they are in a good relationship. Or they could be pretending. Nevertheless, find out what you can about them.
Build a relationship with them if they are still single. Get to know each other again and take things slow. Never rush into things.
After you have been corresponding for a little time, instead of asking for their phone number (if you don't have it already), give them yours and say, Feel free to call anytime. Doing it this way takes the pressure off the situation. If they want to talk to you, you will know.
Before you know it, your friendship will blossom into something special and you start seeing each other often. There are tell tale signs if you still have feelings for each other. Give it a little time. If things turn out right then there is a possibility that you can get back together.
Submitted by:
http://winmyloverback.com/get-back-at-your-ex-without-getting-yourself-into-trouble
It sounds like a plot from tragic love stories of long ago. Two star-crossed lovers who met at some point in time and sadly did not end up together simply because things did not work out right for them. They are only left with sweet memories of the good old days which they find hard to forget. Yearning to be together again and bring back the good times.
If you are at a point in time where you are alone and have failed in relationships since then, it could very well be that the one you dream of is supposed to be with you. Dont just sit around and reminisce, do something about it. If you dont know where they are now, find them. There are many things that you can do to find them. Use the resources you have available to win back a love.
Now that you found them, you might run into some issues. You need to find out if they are still available. You could send them an email saying that you were going through some stuff that brought back memories of times you had together. Ask them how they are doing and what are they up to.
Talk about your status. Don't be too obvious about your intentions; make them think you are not that interested. Let them be if they are in a good relationship. Or they could be pretending. Nevertheless, find out what you can about them.
Build a relationship with them if they are still single. Get to know each other again and take things slow. Never rush into things.
After you have been corresponding for a little time, instead of asking for their phone number (if you don't have it already), give them yours and say, Feel free to call anytime. Doing it this way takes the pressure off the situation. If they want to talk to you, you will know.
Before you know it, your friendship will blossom into something special and you start seeing each other often. There are tell tale signs if you still have feelings for each other. Give it a little time. If things turn out right then there is a possibility that you can get back together.
Submitted by:
http://winmyloverback.com/get-back-at-your-ex-without-getting-yourself-into-trouble
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Keeping The Peace Within A Marriage
It is the universal experience that the quality of the counselor's own personality is the most influential factor in any form of genuine counseling, and it is therefore of some value to consider and to try to formulate the most desirable qualities of personality and the most helpful attitudes of the counselor in counseling.
We may remind ourselves at the beginning that interviewing and counseling are, or should be, reciprocal relationships between two people "for the benefit of one." Counselor and client will each have their share of the universal endowment of conscious and repressed feelings; of prejudices, vulnerabilities, uncritical assumptions about life and about people, habitual attitudes and emotional needs.
Any of these may be stirred up in the emotional interaction inseparable from counseling. Unless the counselor has some awareness of his own inner qualities and vulnerabilities and a reasonable control of them, his own emotional reactions may well intrude into the counseling relationship to such an extent and intensity as to ruin the counseling.
Among the many personal qualities that are generally sought in the initial selection of prospective marriage counselors are the following:
Honesty, integrity of character, trustworthiness and ability to hold communications in strict confidence.
An open mind and a liberal and tolerant outlook, free from restrictive prejudice and not prone to take sides in personal conflicts.
Emotional and personal balance and poise, with flexibility in attitude and practice; awareness of own limitations as well as abilities and powers.
Clear insight and capacity for reasoned analysis; and ability to visualize the importance of deeper elements in personal and social problems.
Ability to discuss intimate and emotionally charged matters without embarrassment.
Acceptance of and loyalty to the aims of the Marriage Guidance or Counseling organization.
Deep and genuine warmth and "non-exploitative" interest in people, without personal involvement or "vested interest" in results of counseling. Readiness to go with partners even through break-up of their marriage if they decide to do so.
Capacity to be a good listener, easy to talk to when one is in trouble, and able to inspire and win the confidence of all kinds of people of both sexes and different ages.
Genuine patience, not too impulsive with the offering of "solutions," or eager to give answers or reassurances, and yet able to offer constructive help as well as understanding.
Persistence with which to see a difficult case through.
Permissiveness and non-judgmental objectivity, without disguising personal standards and values or seeking to impose them on others.
Reasonable freedom from unsolved personal and marital problems, and reasonable awareness of emotional needs.
It is clear that in any preliminary selection these qualities of personal character and relationship must be regarded more as guides than as absolute standards, or there would probably be very few candidates for training as counselors. Many of these qualities are found to be developed to a considerable extent in any good course of training, and they are further stimulated in the actual work of counseling. No matter how many of these qualities any counselor may have, he will always find room for further growth and development.
Beyond these personal qualities there are many "vocational" and "technical" abilities which are mainly achieved in the training courses and further developed throughout all active counseling work, through contact with people in need of help, experience of actual counseling, and through team work, professional supervision, consultations, and case discussions over the years of service.
The good counselor then will have a genuine readiness to look at each problem that comes to him through each partner's eyes, not to judge or to give advice or superficial reassurance, but to go with each of them right down into the agonizing bewildering situation and into their background ideas, attitudes and emotional needs. Then he will patiently support them while they are relating these to the realities of their marital relationship and making the necessary modifications in application of their new insights and their liberated feelings.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Jimmy Cox
Looking For Free Marriage Help On What To Say And Do To Stop A Marriage Crisis?Click here for FREE online Ebookhttp://www.freemarriagehelp.biz/
We may remind ourselves at the beginning that interviewing and counseling are, or should be, reciprocal relationships between two people "for the benefit of one." Counselor and client will each have their share of the universal endowment of conscious and repressed feelings; of prejudices, vulnerabilities, uncritical assumptions about life and about people, habitual attitudes and emotional needs.
Any of these may be stirred up in the emotional interaction inseparable from counseling. Unless the counselor has some awareness of his own inner qualities and vulnerabilities and a reasonable control of them, his own emotional reactions may well intrude into the counseling relationship to such an extent and intensity as to ruin the counseling.
Among the many personal qualities that are generally sought in the initial selection of prospective marriage counselors are the following:
Honesty, integrity of character, trustworthiness and ability to hold communications in strict confidence.
An open mind and a liberal and tolerant outlook, free from restrictive prejudice and not prone to take sides in personal conflicts.
Emotional and personal balance and poise, with flexibility in attitude and practice; awareness of own limitations as well as abilities and powers.
Clear insight and capacity for reasoned analysis; and ability to visualize the importance of deeper elements in personal and social problems.
Ability to discuss intimate and emotionally charged matters without embarrassment.
Acceptance of and loyalty to the aims of the Marriage Guidance or Counseling organization.
Deep and genuine warmth and "non-exploitative" interest in people, without personal involvement or "vested interest" in results of counseling. Readiness to go with partners even through break-up of their marriage if they decide to do so.
Capacity to be a good listener, easy to talk to when one is in trouble, and able to inspire and win the confidence of all kinds of people of both sexes and different ages.
Genuine patience, not too impulsive with the offering of "solutions," or eager to give answers or reassurances, and yet able to offer constructive help as well as understanding.
Persistence with which to see a difficult case through.
Permissiveness and non-judgmental objectivity, without disguising personal standards and values or seeking to impose them on others.
Reasonable freedom from unsolved personal and marital problems, and reasonable awareness of emotional needs.
It is clear that in any preliminary selection these qualities of personal character and relationship must be regarded more as guides than as absolute standards, or there would probably be very few candidates for training as counselors. Many of these qualities are found to be developed to a considerable extent in any good course of training, and they are further stimulated in the actual work of counseling. No matter how many of these qualities any counselor may have, he will always find room for further growth and development.
Beyond these personal qualities there are many "vocational" and "technical" abilities which are mainly achieved in the training courses and further developed throughout all active counseling work, through contact with people in need of help, experience of actual counseling, and through team work, professional supervision, consultations, and case discussions over the years of service.
The good counselor then will have a genuine readiness to look at each problem that comes to him through each partner's eyes, not to judge or to give advice or superficial reassurance, but to go with each of them right down into the agonizing bewildering situation and into their background ideas, attitudes and emotional needs. Then he will patiently support them while they are relating these to the realities of their marital relationship and making the necessary modifications in application of their new insights and their liberated feelings.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Jimmy Cox
Looking For Free Marriage Help On What To Say And Do To Stop A Marriage Crisis?Click here for FREE online Ebookhttp://www.freemarriagehelp.biz/
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
What Should A First Date Be Like?
The reason a date does not turn out as we each expect is because we tend to worry about the outcome before it actually takes place. Anxiety about meeting someone for the first time and wondering if they are going to like you or not can be very overwhelming if one allows it to be, this is why a man or woman shouldn't stress themselves out over going out with someone new. What should a first date be like? This article will help to bring to light all that a first date should be. In addition, what it should not be like for those who are meeting someone for the first time to get together for a day or night out alone. The one thing that no first time dates should be is just fun and light. This is not the truth at all. Sure, a first date must be fun, but fun is not what it is suppose to be all about only. It is also a time for two people to get to know each other personally and to find out if they are compatible and have anything in common. So therefore, it also qualifies as being a time for knowing and not just fun.
A first date should be many wonderful things all rolled up into one. The best way to make this happen for the both of you is to avoid the mistakes and pitfalls that can very much plague it from the onset if allowed to happen. We are all human and subject to do things in error. Nevertheless, when you make a blunder concerning a first date, it could prove to very well end any future of getting a second date and so forth. Therefore, the best way to reduce the chance of making mistakes is by avoiding them.
Therefore, a first date should also be blunder free as much as possible.
The only way to make this happen is to recognize some of the most common mistakes that can occur with a first date. Some of them are:
Be yourself while out on a date. Do not try to be something you are not or put on airs. To thine own self, be true. Anything less is unacceptable.
Be polite to as many people as you can and open to conversation. Talk about yourself and ask questions about your date as well.
Do not talk about any ex-boyfriends or girlfriends while out on a date with someone new. This is a definite no-no for a first date. It will only display you as being mean and unforgiving. Live and let live.
Show your interest in your date by asking them questions about him or her personally. Just refrain from making the whole thing sound like an interview.
Be sure to relay your feelings about the date to him or her and say that you appreciate the fact that he or she has taken the time to be with you. My final and very important advice to you is that you must remember to enjoy yourself when going out on a first date.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Mike Tramp
Want to learn more about going out on a first date then visit our site with lots of dating tips. We have a specific article about how to best handle a first date written in danish called den første date
A first date should be many wonderful things all rolled up into one. The best way to make this happen for the both of you is to avoid the mistakes and pitfalls that can very much plague it from the onset if allowed to happen. We are all human and subject to do things in error. Nevertheless, when you make a blunder concerning a first date, it could prove to very well end any future of getting a second date and so forth. Therefore, the best way to reduce the chance of making mistakes is by avoiding them.
Therefore, a first date should also be blunder free as much as possible.
The only way to make this happen is to recognize some of the most common mistakes that can occur with a first date. Some of them are:
Be yourself while out on a date. Do not try to be something you are not or put on airs. To thine own self, be true. Anything less is unacceptable.
Be polite to as many people as you can and open to conversation. Talk about yourself and ask questions about your date as well.
Do not talk about any ex-boyfriends or girlfriends while out on a date with someone new. This is a definite no-no for a first date. It will only display you as being mean and unforgiving. Live and let live.
Show your interest in your date by asking them questions about him or her personally. Just refrain from making the whole thing sound like an interview.
Be sure to relay your feelings about the date to him or her and say that you appreciate the fact that he or she has taken the time to be with you. My final and very important advice to you is that you must remember to enjoy yourself when going out on a first date.
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: Mike Tramp
Want to learn more about going out on a first date then visit our site with lots of dating tips. We have a specific article about how to best handle a first date written in danish called den første date
Friday, June 5, 2009
Relationships: If It's not Broken, Don't Try to Fix It.
In the beginning of a relationship, everything looks so peechy keen between both parties and it seems like the grass is always greener on the other side and most people that see a couple and might say Oh, you see that couple is perfect for each other where it's almost so serene. Although, relationships are work and you have to make it work by communicating with one another because if there's no communication and trust, you have nothing at all. You have to trust one another all the way. Now, the worst thing to do is set off false accusations. Now, lets be truthful here no one wants to be with a nag and if you nag your mate about every little thing then that's just going to push your mate away to stray.
Know this: Let your man have his guys night out with his friends, and you ladies should have a ladies night out with your girlfriends. The same way a man has his male friends, a woman should have girlfriends too as well. And once the both of you get back together at the end of the day, everything should be great between both parties because you gave each other space to do what you both wanted to do.
VIP: You don't need anyone breathing down your back while you're handling business because it only complicates things. In order to remain sane, you both have to live your own lives and give each other some space and breathing room, by not being too demanding and overprotective. Give your partner a chance to miss you at the end of the day. You both have to come with compromising situations with an understanding. The mistakes that a lot of people make when in relationships are doing silly things to keep your mate, because you can't trap anyone to keep them. If your relationship isn't broken then don't try to fix it. Because that's where the problems begin and if you're living with someone and keys are given to you, you should not snoop around. If you snoop around, you'll find out things that you don't want to find whether it's in the past or the present. So, eventually in the end someone ends up getting hurt in the long run and that's where the problems start. By snooping around, you're not respecting your mates space that he or she has given you and by doing so you're also violating your mates privacy, ruining your chances of ever getting closer because of one's silly actions. Just like your mate has to maintain his sanity, you should be able to maintain your sanity as well. Women should not wear the pants all the time because you have to let a man be a man. Don't try to be little your mate because at the end of th day he's still a man. Respect one another!
Remember: Your mate is counting on you to not go through their things when they're not home and reliability is a must for both parties. It's a two way street and you should both be financially set with a five year plan in order to build a unity together. Both parties should be independent, especially the ladies. You should be able to stand on your own two feet.Most men find it very sexy when a woman doesn't depend on them as much. The same rules apply for the guys! So in order to be independent and powerful you must have some type of education in order to bring as much to the table as your mate. You must be educationally compatible and on the same level with some moral support.
From a male perspective:
It is said It is said that you don't generally move in with a woman right away because you need to get to know a person first before anything because truthfully, a lot of people are out there wearing masks because remember when you first meet someone, you're not meeting the real thing, you're meeting their representative and moving in with someone is one step under marriage and some men say they rather live together first before marriage at least for a year. Some men get scared, fearing commitment. If you look at it, everything looks great on the outside. By finding out more and more about their mates and like the saying goes. You never know someone until you live with them. Sex is definitely a good sign and you must keep the spark and fire between the two of you in order to keep the passion and relationship alive where it doesn't become boring. Always re-invent your relationship without going outside any boundaries and it's always good to listen twice as hard when one person speaks. You should always cater to your spouse whenevr you can and feeding your mates ego will always boost up their self esteem. But most importantly, you should build up a friendship before anything along with a support system for one another.
Being friends before lovers is the best possible solution.
And last, But not least you must have patience and love!!!
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: nadia cherubin
Writer/Newly published author.
A public relations specialist and a new writer of urban tales and fiction. My first book will be out in the summer of 2008
Know this: Let your man have his guys night out with his friends, and you ladies should have a ladies night out with your girlfriends. The same way a man has his male friends, a woman should have girlfriends too as well. And once the both of you get back together at the end of the day, everything should be great between both parties because you gave each other space to do what you both wanted to do.
VIP: You don't need anyone breathing down your back while you're handling business because it only complicates things. In order to remain sane, you both have to live your own lives and give each other some space and breathing room, by not being too demanding and overprotective. Give your partner a chance to miss you at the end of the day. You both have to come with compromising situations with an understanding. The mistakes that a lot of people make when in relationships are doing silly things to keep your mate, because you can't trap anyone to keep them. If your relationship isn't broken then don't try to fix it. Because that's where the problems begin and if you're living with someone and keys are given to you, you should not snoop around. If you snoop around, you'll find out things that you don't want to find whether it's in the past or the present. So, eventually in the end someone ends up getting hurt in the long run and that's where the problems start. By snooping around, you're not respecting your mates space that he or she has given you and by doing so you're also violating your mates privacy, ruining your chances of ever getting closer because of one's silly actions. Just like your mate has to maintain his sanity, you should be able to maintain your sanity as well. Women should not wear the pants all the time because you have to let a man be a man. Don't try to be little your mate because at the end of th day he's still a man. Respect one another!
Remember: Your mate is counting on you to not go through their things when they're not home and reliability is a must for both parties. It's a two way street and you should both be financially set with a five year plan in order to build a unity together. Both parties should be independent, especially the ladies. You should be able to stand on your own two feet.Most men find it very sexy when a woman doesn't depend on them as much. The same rules apply for the guys! So in order to be independent and powerful you must have some type of education in order to bring as much to the table as your mate. You must be educationally compatible and on the same level with some moral support.
From a male perspective:
It is said It is said that you don't generally move in with a woman right away because you need to get to know a person first before anything because truthfully, a lot of people are out there wearing masks because remember when you first meet someone, you're not meeting the real thing, you're meeting their representative and moving in with someone is one step under marriage and some men say they rather live together first before marriage at least for a year. Some men get scared, fearing commitment. If you look at it, everything looks great on the outside. By finding out more and more about their mates and like the saying goes. You never know someone until you live with them. Sex is definitely a good sign and you must keep the spark and fire between the two of you in order to keep the passion and relationship alive where it doesn't become boring. Always re-invent your relationship without going outside any boundaries and it's always good to listen twice as hard when one person speaks. You should always cater to your spouse whenevr you can and feeding your mates ego will always boost up their self esteem. But most importantly, you should build up a friendship before anything along with a support system for one another.
Being friends before lovers is the best possible solution.
And last, But not least you must have patience and love!!!
Article Source: http://marketing.article24h.com/category/relationship.html
Author: nadia cherubin
Writer/Newly published author.
A public relations specialist and a new writer of urban tales and fiction. My first book will be out in the summer of 2008
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
7 Myths About Creating A Better Relationship
In my private practice for over 14 years no matter what my clients have come to see me about, there has always been an issue about a better relationship.
Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.
Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner
Reality Check 1
You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.
Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.
Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner
Reality Check 2
You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.
You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.
Myth 3
I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.
Reality Check 3
Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.
Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.
When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.
Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining armour
Reality Check 4
You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.
Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship.
You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.
Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship
Reality Check 5
In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.
Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.
Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.
Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling
Reality Check 6
It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.
If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.
Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationship
Reality Check 7
As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.
These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.
When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.
In summary:
1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your partner's true essence.
2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.
3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.
5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.
6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.
7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.
About The Author:
Cecil McIntosh provides Relaxation Resources, that will turbo
charge your health, business and wealth. To receive your free 7
day Relaxation course. visit this site now:Relaxation tools and Tips
Here are 7 of the most common misconceptions my clients have related to me about having a better relationship. These misconceptions are followed by my perspective on each one of them.
Myth 1 I have to love everything about my partner
Reality Check 1
You were born pure and pristine. You then learnt behaviors from your parents, teacher, coaches, church etc. (who did their best to teach you about a better relationship). These behaviors have become the backbone for your way of living and having a better relationship.
Perhaps a common behavior that irritates having a better relationship would be leaving the toilet seat up after use. This is merely a behavior and not the essence of the person. However, when you may consider this behavior to be the person, this destroys the concept of a better relationship, creating all kinds of conflict in your need for a better relationship.
Myth 2 Love means that I can fix your partner
Reality Check 2
You met your partner because of some special quality or charteristic that you admired. You need to accept and allow that quality to flourish in order to allow you and your partner to grow into a better relationship.
You may be unaware that you do not even like yourself. Yet by allowing your partner to grow and expand, you will experience the quality of your partner and the beauty within you, as you begin to enjoy a better relationship.
Myth 3
I am supposed to give up the things I like in order to be in a better relationship.
Reality Check 3
Giving up the things you like to be in a better relationship is like take a knife and cutting away a part of yourself.
Your better relationship is based on the uniqueness of you and your partner.
When you give up your uniqueness you rob yourself of a better relationship, your passion and your partner of your creativity.
Myth 4 I will be rescued by a knight in shining armour
Reality Check 4
You may have been conditioned to live your life expecting someone to take care of you. What happens if that person becomes ill? and is no longer able to take care of you.
Your responsibility in creating a better relationship, is to bring your passion to the table of your relationship. Some days you will be the knight in shining armour and another day your partner will be the knight in shining armour of a better relationship.
You will each get a chance to shine like star in a better relationship because of your strengths and weaknesses.
Myth 5 It cost a lot to be in a relationship
Reality Check 5
In a material context, a better relationship can be expensive if you think that love is based on the bigger house, car or boat. Although some of these material assets are necessary, they should not be at the expense of creating a better relationship.
Love is creating a better relationship by building a relationship that is based on the simple things in life, like walking and holding hands, going on a picnic (just the two of you), or sharing an ice cream.
Love in a better relationship is not about what you show on the outside but what you express in you heart. Love is not about money or materialism, love just is.
Myth 6 Love in a relationship is or is not a feeling
Reality Check 6
It is not what you say, it is what you do. You can say, "I love you" which may be merely words and no feelings (action). Love is the action of doing.
If you make a cup of tea for yourself, (the water is boiled), make a cup of tea for your partner. Whether your partner wants the tea or not is irrelevant, it is the thought that counts and the action that cements a better relationship.
Myth 7 I don't have to work at my relationship
Reality Check 7
As a child, you learned to creep before you walked. Then you learned the letters of the alphabet. In order to write, you had to learn how to put those letters together to make words and sentences.
These sentences then become the way in which you communicated.
When you and your partner stop communicating after learning how to use the letters of the alphabet in sentences, it's like 2 tape recorders talking to each other - Nobody is at home to enjoy a better relationship.
In summary:
1. Your partner's behavior in a better relationship is not your partner's true essence.
2. There is no need to have a clone of yourself. A better relationship requires some variety.
3. Giving up of your uniqueness to be in a better relationship is like throwing out the baby with the bath water.
4. In a better relationship there are no superior partners, just equal partners.
5. Love in creating a better relationship is not about money and the material assets (although there are important) but the simple things in life.
6. Love in a better relationship is active not passive.
7. Lack of communication crushes your desire for a better relationship.
About The Author:
Cecil McIntosh provides Relaxation Resources, that will turbo
charge your health, business and wealth. To receive your free 7
day Relaxation course. visit this site now:Relaxation tools and Tips
"Relationships-- the Secret to Your Professional and Personal Success"
The Hungry
In May of 2005 there were over 2 million searches made on
the internet in reference to relationships. Over 49,000 searches have taken place on the net in one month for relationship advice. Almost 4000 of them were searching for help with a healthy relationship.
Over 38,000 were looking for a relationship on line because they were not getting it in their realm of life. This is all in one month. I could go on with the list.
The point is when over 2 million people search in one
month's time for relationships we know that most people are
not finding the fulfillment in their present relationships.
This unhappiness in relationships will definitely carry
over on the job. If you are responsible for others in a
home business or at the office, it is to your advantage to provide a means for them to learn how to develop healthy Relationships. If people are unfulfilled and unhappy that carries over in the quality of their work.
Getting the most for your money and time will include
providing an environment for everyone to learn
relationships skills. Relationship skills just happens to
be a life skill that you take every where you go, whether
it be at the office or home. Therefore, you are doing
everyone a favor when you provide relationship training to
your down line.
The Satisfied
There are 3 areas that satisfy the longing for meaningful relationships. Those who are healthy and fulfilled are those who have been enjoying relationships in all 3 areas.
The first is you. This is not some kind of psycho-babble
talk, this is a plain fact. If you have insecurities,
fears, deep imbedded scars that you have deliberately
buried you are not being honest with who you are. Further,
no matter what your back ground is you have one of the 4 personality types, a home based language, and a personal language that enables you to receive love your way.
If you do not know these basic human concepts you really
don't even understand who you are, let alone others. Most people do not know their home based language, nor their “love language.” A larger margin of folks will know about the 4 personality types, but many of them will admit that they don’t which one is their type.
The second is others. Success demands building
relationships that are strong, vibrant, healthy, and
fulfilling with others. Granted not every relationship will take on the same meaning, but healthy relationships have a sparkle about them, regardless if it is on the professional level or personal.
The “Right Knowledge” enhances your personal growth and provides lasting relationships! Having a healthy relationship is not easy, but it is worth the effort. There is a very unique principle to follow in order to find meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
The Ancient writers new of the principle, but for the last couple of generations, at least, it seems that this principle was buried and forgotten. However, it is being uncovered and taught once again. This wisdom is bringing joy back into lives many.
The third is God. You are designed to have a relationship
with God. This is your personal responsibility. Many
neglect this relationship or leave it up to others to
develop for them, which is absurd. Others can not develop a relationship with God for you. You must pursue this as any other relationship.
The Results
An atmosphere were people are having healthy relationships
and are growing will, perhaps, exceed all expectations in regards to the joy and productivity of the staff or family members.
You just can not imagine the inner peace and security that
is derived from vibrant relationships.
Is it possible to develop such relationships? Yes, if you
know what principles to follow. If you learn how to use the principles, certainly it is possible. Just ask someone who is no longer hungry. She will tell you that you can be satisfied.
Besides it is a must for true success!
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. John Neyman has been teaching every week for the last
21 years. He is the Founder of www.relationshipexcel.com
Dr. John writes weekly for his local newspaper and weekly
tips for healthy relationships. Email him at: john@leaderssuccess.com Or if you have a particular question you can ask it at: www.askdoctorjohn.com
In May of 2005 there were over 2 million searches made on
the internet in reference to relationships. Over 49,000 searches have taken place on the net in one month for relationship advice. Almost 4000 of them were searching for help with a healthy relationship.
Over 38,000 were looking for a relationship on line because they were not getting it in their realm of life. This is all in one month. I could go on with the list.
The point is when over 2 million people search in one
month's time for relationships we know that most people are
not finding the fulfillment in their present relationships.
This unhappiness in relationships will definitely carry
over on the job. If you are responsible for others in a
home business or at the office, it is to your advantage to provide a means for them to learn how to develop healthy Relationships. If people are unfulfilled and unhappy that carries over in the quality of their work.
Getting the most for your money and time will include
providing an environment for everyone to learn
relationships skills. Relationship skills just happens to
be a life skill that you take every where you go, whether
it be at the office or home. Therefore, you are doing
everyone a favor when you provide relationship training to
your down line.
The Satisfied
There are 3 areas that satisfy the longing for meaningful relationships. Those who are healthy and fulfilled are those who have been enjoying relationships in all 3 areas.
The first is you. This is not some kind of psycho-babble
talk, this is a plain fact. If you have insecurities,
fears, deep imbedded scars that you have deliberately
buried you are not being honest with who you are. Further,
no matter what your back ground is you have one of the 4 personality types, a home based language, and a personal language that enables you to receive love your way.
If you do not know these basic human concepts you really
don't even understand who you are, let alone others. Most people do not know their home based language, nor their “love language.” A larger margin of folks will know about the 4 personality types, but many of them will admit that they don’t which one is their type.
The second is others. Success demands building
relationships that are strong, vibrant, healthy, and
fulfilling with others. Granted not every relationship will take on the same meaning, but healthy relationships have a sparkle about them, regardless if it is on the professional level or personal.
The “Right Knowledge” enhances your personal growth and provides lasting relationships! Having a healthy relationship is not easy, but it is worth the effort. There is a very unique principle to follow in order to find meaningful and fulfilling relationships.
The Ancient writers new of the principle, but for the last couple of generations, at least, it seems that this principle was buried and forgotten. However, it is being uncovered and taught once again. This wisdom is bringing joy back into lives many.
The third is God. You are designed to have a relationship
with God. This is your personal responsibility. Many
neglect this relationship or leave it up to others to
develop for them, which is absurd. Others can not develop a relationship with God for you. You must pursue this as any other relationship.
The Results
An atmosphere were people are having healthy relationships
and are growing will, perhaps, exceed all expectations in regards to the joy and productivity of the staff or family members.
You just can not imagine the inner peace and security that
is derived from vibrant relationships.
Is it possible to develop such relationships? Yes, if you
know what principles to follow. If you learn how to use the principles, certainly it is possible. Just ask someone who is no longer hungry. She will tell you that you can be satisfied.
Besides it is a must for true success!
----------------------------------------------------
Dr. John Neyman has been teaching every week for the last
21 years. He is the Founder of www.relationshipexcel.com
Dr. John writes weekly for his local newspaper and weekly
tips for healthy relationships. Email him at: john@leaderssuccess.com Or if you have a particular question you can ask it at: www.askdoctorjohn.com
To Be Loved As To Love
Ernie Larson, author of "Stage II Recovery" and other works, uses a wonderful metaphor for relationships. If you picture yourself as a telephone pole, he says, and the other person as a telephone pole, you can see your relationship as the line strung between you. You can't hold up both ends by yourself.
I tell you that, because I want to tell you this: There's a lot of wonderful relationship advice to be found in spiritual writings and teachings. But if you try to use it on another person, hoping against hope that s/he will pick up the other end of the telephone line, it won't work.
If you are trying to relate to someone who hits you, cheats on you, ignores you until they want sex, or otherwise uses you in any way, then you are not in a relationship with that person. This relationship advice article does not apply to the two of you. What you have is a trauma bond, and I trust you to seek professional help, if that's what it takes, to extricate yourself.
For those connections with others that can honestly be called relationships, I have gathered some powerful relationship advice in my years of study and practice in conscious spiritual living.
The first thing to know is that there is unlimited love for you in this universe. You'll receive it as soon as you're willing to, and as soon as you quit dictating where you think it should come from and how it should be delivered. Be present to your life, and you'll see love showing up in the most unexpected places.
The second principle of relationship advice is that a relationship cannot be a closed system of two. If it is, it won't be a relationship for long. There needs to be space in any relationship for other friends, family, as well as room for Spirit to work in you and your loved one. Your primary relationship must be with your own concept of Spirit. All other relationships will fall into place.
The last thing I want to offer you will improve your communication skills. It's a copy of the Peace Prayer of St. Francis. No one really knows who wrote it, but this centuries old poem is packed with relationship advice.
Make me an instrument of Thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, harmony;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine!
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born into eternal life.
Practice the principles of this prayer in all of your relationships, and you'll find that your life full of the kind of relationships you really want.
Amy Biddle has been a lifetime student and teacher of spiritual principles. Spiritual Healing Secrets is a fast-growing resource for anyone who wants to improve her or himself, or simply to learn practical spiritual principles. Let Amy help you improve your life! Discover the secrets at http://www.spiritual-healing-secrets.com
I tell you that, because I want to tell you this: There's a lot of wonderful relationship advice to be found in spiritual writings and teachings. But if you try to use it on another person, hoping against hope that s/he will pick up the other end of the telephone line, it won't work.
If you are trying to relate to someone who hits you, cheats on you, ignores you until they want sex, or otherwise uses you in any way, then you are not in a relationship with that person. This relationship advice article does not apply to the two of you. What you have is a trauma bond, and I trust you to seek professional help, if that's what it takes, to extricate yourself.
For those connections with others that can honestly be called relationships, I have gathered some powerful relationship advice in my years of study and practice in conscious spiritual living.
The first thing to know is that there is unlimited love for you in this universe. You'll receive it as soon as you're willing to, and as soon as you quit dictating where you think it should come from and how it should be delivered. Be present to your life, and you'll see love showing up in the most unexpected places.
The second principle of relationship advice is that a relationship cannot be a closed system of two. If it is, it won't be a relationship for long. There needs to be space in any relationship for other friends, family, as well as room for Spirit to work in you and your loved one. Your primary relationship must be with your own concept of Spirit. All other relationships will fall into place.
The last thing I want to offer you will improve your communication skills. It's a copy of the Peace Prayer of St. Francis. No one really knows who wrote it, but this centuries old poem is packed with relationship advice.
Make me an instrument of Thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, harmony;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine!
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born into eternal life.
Practice the principles of this prayer in all of your relationships, and you'll find that your life full of the kind of relationships you really want.
Amy Biddle has been a lifetime student and teacher of spiritual principles. Spiritual Healing Secrets is a fast-growing resource for anyone who wants to improve her or himself, or simply to learn practical spiritual principles. Let Amy help you improve your life! Discover the secrets at http://www.spiritual-healing-secrets.com
Long Distance Relationships - How to Make it Work
Long distance relationships are dreadful. I know this because I'm currently living one. You watch other couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, kissing, etc., everyday and you can't do anything but envy them. So how can a long distance relationship work? How can you keep on loving someone if you can't even see them?
The answer is...it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work.
1. COMMUNICATION is the key.
In every relationship, whether near or far, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to quiver until it eventually dies a natural death. That's why in any given circumstance, communication has to be given utmost importance. There are so many available media to ensure that the communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These media can be effective means to convey your hearts desires to your loved ones. Let them know about what you've been doing and thinking because in that way they will feel like they are there with you. This will also help you feel close even though you are miles apart.
2. Send off CARE PACKAGES.
It can be anything -- a little gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you designed artistically into a scrapbook; or your sweetheart's favorite jewelry -- it's really only limited to your imagination. Engaging yourself in this way is beneficial for both of you. You get to concentrate on gathering these items and putting them together, thus keeping your mind off not being together to a certain extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it is nothing more than a card,it shows they mean enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes much money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!
3. Keep yourself BUSY.
You couldn't just sit there and wait 'til he comes back to you. What if he doesn't come back at all and all you did was sit and get your tummy flabby, won't that make you just miserable? You won't just be stunting your growth as an individual in the process but you'd also be developing emotional insecurities. In order to avoid that, you have to focus yourself on other things while waiting. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books which can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to lounge before your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things over the internet. It's an endless "ways-to-make-yourself-busy" list and it is up to you to decide whichever you're interested to get involved in. But remember, being "busy" is not an excuse to forget your "special days" and worse yet, your loved one. You're doing it not just to occupy yourself but also to allow yourself to grow even with your lover's absence.
4. HONESTY is the best policy.
The path to true intimacy and connection especially in a long distance relationship is through "total honesty" to each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your full truth to your loved one about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, boundaries, etc., you are gradually building up a zone of confidence and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Seeking to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a while but it won't take much time until your suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, "acting out," etc. I know, sometimes, telling your whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship that you really want-- a relationship where all the cards are laid in the table.
5. The value of TRUST
Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That is because having trust in a relationship takes away doubt. When you trust someone you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is solid. You must learn to be true to the relationship and must never give way to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick impulses because these will only bring your relationship down. Don't push away negative comments, or advice. Just trust in yourself and your partner. If you two are true to each other and have no hidden motives then you'll be alright. Remember "Love never fails."
6. COMMITMENT is a habit not an achievement
In every relationship, it is a must to be able to learn how to commit and be committed. For most long distance relationships, the very reason why they fail is because both parties couldn't go on with the commitment and they feel too weak to withstand the tribulations of time.If you have committed yourselves to each other without shilly-shallying, then you have a good promise ahead of you.Your comitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.
7. PATIENCE is a virtue.
Being in a long distance relationship requires being steadfast and persevering. If you aren't this kind of person and you're involved in a long distance relationship, then as much as now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give your hopes up. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to work patiently through it will let them know you truly love them.
8. WEBCAM
This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home.But for those who don't, there are computers-for-rent in cafe's with webcams already attached to the computer system. Having a webcam is actually very fun and exciting. Even if you aren't together but looking at each other's face in the broad screen makes you feel like you're just so close, so near to your loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with smileys and it's melting my heart to see him smile in the cam when he gets my messages.
9. Make special occasions SPECIAL.
It is not everyday that a special day comes so when it does, it must be celebrated no matter how far apart you are. When I speak of special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day. During these occasions, you can plan out some heavy-duty phone call or an extended online time for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a couple times a week, be sure you both carve out some time for that particular night. If you're too stingy to settle on a lengthy phone call, but have cheap and unlimited online access, plan to send instant messages to each other or meet in a private chatroom somewhere. If you can't be together, at least you can be "talking" and "spending some private moments together".
10. ENJOY LIFE!
Not because your loved one is away, it doesn't mean that your "life" is taken away with him as he sets on for greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it up to the purpose you were created for, with or without your loved one.Anyway, we have our family and friends. What are these social beings surrounding us created for anyway?
Remember,there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style but it is important that those who thrive in a long distance relationship see the suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools in cultivating their love and rearing up the maturity in their relationship. The best you can do is to strive to be the best of who you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you are already a full-grown individual whom he will love even more and be more proud of more than ever! For now, just be happy in knowing that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, they are willing to engage in a terrible thing such as a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever since your loved one will be back soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was back then.
Rachelle Arlin Credo is an entrepreneur and relationship coach. She also works as an image consultant and part-time writer. Her stories, articles, essays and poetry have been published in various magazines and online publications.
The answer is...it depends on how much you want it to work. True love can overcome any odds thrown in its path if you want it bad enough. So the question is, how do you do it? Well, I do not think that anyone knows exactly how to make it work, but I can certainly provide some points on making it work.
1. COMMUNICATION is the key.
In every relationship, whether near or far, if communication is taken for granted, it can cause the relationship to quiver until it eventually dies a natural death. That's why in any given circumstance, communication has to be given utmost importance. There are so many available media to ensure that the communication stays open. From snail mails and phone calls to chat systems and e-mails or e-cards. These media can be effective means to convey your hearts desires to your loved ones. Let them know about what you've been doing and thinking because in that way they will feel like they are there with you. This will also help you feel close even though you are miles apart.
2. Send off CARE PACKAGES.
It can be anything -- a little gift of flowers; a collection of the letters he has sent you designed artistically into a scrapbook; or your sweetheart's favorite jewelry -- it's really only limited to your imagination. Engaging yourself in this way is beneficial for both of you. You get to concentrate on gathering these items and putting them together, thus keeping your mind off not being together to a certain extent. Your loved one will see how much effort you put into it and how much you care. Even if it is nothing more than a card,it shows they mean enough to you that you can take the time to let them know. It never takes much money to show a little love with a small gift. Trust me, it can melt a heart!
3. Keep yourself BUSY.
You couldn't just sit there and wait 'til he comes back to you. What if he doesn't come back at all and all you did was sit and get your tummy flabby, won't that make you just miserable? You won't just be stunting your growth as an individual in the process but you'd also be developing emotional insecurities. In order to avoid that, you have to focus yourself on other things while waiting. Try to identify your passions. Get in touch with your creative nature. If you are a homebody, you can read tons of books which can help you grow intellectually and emotionally or you can choose to lounge before your computer and surf for hours to learn invaluable things over the internet. It's an endless "ways-to-make-yourself-busy" list and it is up to you to decide whichever you're interested to get involved in. But remember, being "busy" is not an excuse to forget your "special days" and worse yet, your loved one. You're doing it not just to occupy yourself but also to allow yourself to grow even with your lover's absence.
4. HONESTY is the best policy.
The path to true intimacy and connection especially in a long distance relationship is through "total honesty" to each other in the fullest sense of the words. By being authentic and telling your full truth to your loved one about your thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, issues, boundaries, etc., you are gradually building up a zone of confidence and comfort for both of you. This is very essential if you want your relationship to really last. Seeking to avoid conflict and maintain harmony by censoring yourself can work for a while but it won't take much time until your suppressed truth comes out in other ways, such as withdrawal, resentment, "acting out," etc. I know, sometimes, telling your whole truth can be difficult and even scary, but it will result in the kind of relationship that you really want-- a relationship where all the cards are laid in the table.
5. The value of TRUST
Trust is a very fundamental aspect in any relationship. That is because having trust in a relationship takes away doubt. When you trust someone you never have to question their motivation about anything and with mutual trust that relationship is solid. You must learn to be true to the relationship and must never give way to insecurities, strange feelings, suspicions and quick impulses because these will only bring your relationship down. Don't push away negative comments, or advice. Just trust in yourself and your partner. If you two are true to each other and have no hidden motives then you'll be alright. Remember "Love never fails."
6. COMMITMENT is a habit not an achievement
In every relationship, it is a must to be able to learn how to commit and be committed. For most long distance relationships, the very reason why they fail is because both parties couldn't go on with the commitment and they feel too weak to withstand the tribulations of time.If you have committed yourselves to each other without shilly-shallying, then you have a good promise ahead of you.Your comitment to each other will keep the passion alive and the fires burning thus sustaining the growth of the relationship.
7. PATIENCE is a virtue.
Being in a long distance relationship requires being steadfast and persevering. If you aren't this kind of person and you're involved in a long distance relationship, then as much as now, you better try to learn to be patient. Focus your attention on all the positive aspects of the relationship and never give your hopes up. Showing that you value your partner and the relationship and that you are willing to work patiently through it will let them know you truly love them.
8. WEBCAM
This is applicable only for those who have the comfort of having their own personal computers at home.But for those who don't, there are computers-for-rent in cafe's with webcams already attached to the computer system. Having a webcam is actually very fun and exciting. Even if you aren't together but looking at each other's face in the broad screen makes you feel like you're just so close, so near to your loved one. My boyfriend and I use Yahoo messenger to express our emotions with smileys and it's melting my heart to see him smile in the cam when he gets my messages.
9. Make special occasions SPECIAL.
It is not everyday that a special day comes so when it does, it must be celebrated no matter how far apart you are. When I speak of special occasions, I mean birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, New Year and Valentine's Day. During these occasions, you can plan out some heavy-duty phone call or an extended online time for the evening. Regardless of whether you talk every night or a couple times a week, be sure you both carve out some time for that particular night. If you're too stingy to settle on a lengthy phone call, but have cheap and unlimited online access, plan to send instant messages to each other or meet in a private chatroom somewhere. If you can't be together, at least you can be "talking" and "spending some private moments together".
10. ENJOY LIFE!
Not because your loved one is away, it doesn't mean that your "life" is taken away with him as he sets on for greener pastures. You have your own life to live and you must live it up to the purpose you were created for, with or without your loved one.Anyway, we have our family and friends. What are these social beings surrounding us created for anyway?
Remember,there are definite hardships associated with this relationship style but it is important that those who thrive in a long distance relationship see the suffering, difficulties, distance and time as tools in cultivating their love and rearing up the maturity in their relationship. The best you can do is to strive to be the best of who you are as a person while your partner is away so that when he comes back to you, you are already a full-grown individual whom he will love even more and be more proud of more than ever! For now, just be happy in knowing that across the miles there is someone who thinks you are so special, they are willing to engage in a terrible thing such as a long distance relationship. Keep in mind that your suffering is not forever since your loved one will be back soon and when that time comes, everything will be much sweeter than it was back then.
Rachelle Arlin Credo is an entrepreneur and relationship coach. She also works as an image consultant and part-time writer. Her stories, articles, essays and poetry have been published in various magazines and online publications.
The Truth About Finding Your True Love And How You Can Fulfill Your Dream Of Living Happily Ever After
All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to
be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on
television and at the movies, this seems like a reality.
However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and
hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth
here.
Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above
“love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon
reality.
If you are thinking of going into a relationship, or if you
find yourself falling in love, and ready to date, keep this
in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love and
attraction.
Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people
live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can
look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy
feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups
and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect,
problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t
exist.
If you are in a problem-less relationship (which doesn't
exist anyway), you'll get bored one day. And one of the
couples will want to run away!
So, is it possible to create and maintain a long lasting and
blissful relationship, or can one even dream of creating the
relationship of his or her dreams?
You bet!
The first step is to arm yourself with the genuine knowledge
and instructions on how to create your soul-based
relationship. Trust me, it is worth your time and money if
you can ever find a comprehensive course of instructions and
learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially
how you can draw in your soul mate!
It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long-
term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it
certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term
relationships. Many people grow together over time.
Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of
relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques
that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no
particular order, are:
- Understand your-self.
Understand yourself. What is your personality. You may be
surprised. Some people live for a long time and never come
to understand or even realize why they are the way they are!
And why is this important? It determines how you look at the
world, how you will interpret the events occurring in your
life, and WHO YOU ARE will help your partner determine how
to react to YOU!
- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.
Now let’s take a quick peak at the basics of developing
rapport with others. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask
questions, have a positive, open attitude, encour
age an open exchange of communications (both verbal and
unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and
share positive feedback.
- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts
without too much friction
How do you handle conflicts? If you can put your ego aside
pretty much and try to keep friction to a minimum, your
relationships should move along fairly smoothly. Where you
feel disagreement, if you can “agree” to disagree on certain
things with the other party involved, that will help, too.
In short, conflict resolution means to pretty much deal with
others as you would want them to deal with you.
Once true love is found, people live happily ever after.
Truth or myth? Well, it will definitely not be a perfect,
problem-less journey. However, you definitely can live
happily ever after with the love of your life, if only you
will arm yourself with the right relationship skills and
learn relationship mastery whole heartedly.
Trust me, this is within your power. It is your destiny to
draw in your highest and best mate, if you have decided to.
About The Author:
Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional ebooks at http://www.Retrievealover.com/home.htm
Get FREE Special Reports, FREE Ebooks, tips, strategies and resources on how you can Find True Love and Bring Back A Lost Love at http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm
be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on
television and at the movies, this seems like a reality.
However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and
hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth
here.
Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above
“love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon
reality.
If you are thinking of going into a relationship, or if you
find yourself falling in love, and ready to date, keep this
in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love and
attraction.
Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people
live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can
look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy
feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups
and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect,
problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t
exist.
If you are in a problem-less relationship (which doesn't
exist anyway), you'll get bored one day. And one of the
couples will want to run away!
So, is it possible to create and maintain a long lasting and
blissful relationship, or can one even dream of creating the
relationship of his or her dreams?
You bet!
The first step is to arm yourself with the genuine knowledge
and instructions on how to create your soul-based
relationship. Trust me, it is worth your time and money if
you can ever find a comprehensive course of instructions and
learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially
how you can draw in your soul mate!
It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long-
term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it
certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term
relationships. Many people grow together over time.
Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of
relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques
that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no
particular order, are:
- Understand your-self.
Understand yourself. What is your personality. You may be
surprised. Some people live for a long time and never come
to understand or even realize why they are the way they are!
And why is this important? It determines how you look at the
world, how you will interpret the events occurring in your
life, and WHO YOU ARE will help your partner determine how
to react to YOU!
- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.
Now let’s take a quick peak at the basics of developing
rapport with others. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask
questions, have a positive, open attitude, encour
age an open exchange of communications (both verbal and
unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and
share positive feedback.
- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts
without too much friction
How do you handle conflicts? If you can put your ego aside
pretty much and try to keep friction to a minimum, your
relationships should move along fairly smoothly. Where you
feel disagreement, if you can “agree” to disagree on certain
things with the other party involved, that will help, too.
In short, conflict resolution means to pretty much deal with
others as you would want them to deal with you.
Once true love is found, people live happily ever after.
Truth or myth? Well, it will definitely not be a perfect,
problem-less journey. However, you definitely can live
happily ever after with the love of your life, if only you
will arm yourself with the right relationship skills and
learn relationship mastery whole heartedly.
Trust me, this is within your power. It is your destiny to
draw in your highest and best mate, if you have decided to.
About The Author:
Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional ebooks at http://www.Retrievealover.com/home.htm
Get FREE Special Reports, FREE Ebooks, tips, strategies and resources on how you can Find True Love and Bring Back A Lost Love at http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm
How to Decide Whether to Keep Your Marriage or Other Relationship Going or to End It
How to Decide Whether to Keep Your Marriage or Other Relationship
Going or to End It
by Terry Mansfield
In their top-selling book "Should You Stay or Should You Go?"
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins offer expert advice
to help you decide how to know WHEN or IF it's time to break up,
leave your relationship or get a divorce.
Theirs is an "action book" provided in traditional print form or
in a downloadable e-book version that is "filled with hundreds of
questions, stories and insights that will help you consciously
determine whether to stay in your present relationship or to move
on."
Relationship Experts Susie and Otto assert that their book "will
take you through a powerful process of discovery about yourself,
your partner and your relationship" and that "by going through
this process, the decision about what's best for you actually
reveals itself to you."
Webster's Dictionary defines a relationship as "a romantic or
passionate attachment." If you're in one, you might think that
you've found heaven on earth. Or maybe something that's not quite
so grand, just OK or so-so. Or possibly something far worse if
your relationship is starting to seem more like hell on earth
than heaven. In fact, things may seem so bad to you that you've
started thinking seriously about leaving a relationship. And if
you're married this could mean getting a divorce. Many of us have
found ourselves in a similar situation and have suffered great
anguish while trying to decide what to do -- stay in a
relationship or leave it.
Well, the husband and wife Relationship Coach team of Susie and
Otto Collins, who are also top-selling authors, are urging that
before you take the next, maybe fateful step regarding your
relationship, that you stop long enough to learn how to make the
best possible decision about whether to stay or go. Susie and
Otto say that while they have a great relationship with one
another now, that wasn't always the case. But they want you to
basically 'go to school on them' by learning from and benefiting
from the relationship journey they made together. While there
most certainly have been others who have overcome the low points
in a relationship and made what eventually became a successful
journey together, not many of them have been able to recount it
in writing in such clear and compelling fashion as have Susie
and Otto Collins in their top-selling book "Should You Stay or
Should You Go?" They claim their book will:
-- Help you know whether you really want to stay in this
relationship or move on
-- Help you discover what you really want in a relationship and
whether you'll be able to have it in this relationship
-- Help you identify the real issues going on in this relationship
(they may not be what you think)
-- Help you understand the communication challenges going on
between the two of you
-- Show you how the way money is handled in your relationship may
be causing major problems without you even knowing it
-- Tell you what to do if there's physical, emotional or sexual
abuse going on in this relationship
-- Give you a new way of thinking about how addictions affect
your relationship
-- Help you identify how patterns from your past may be
unconsciously ruining your relationship right before your eyes
Of course you'll have to judge for yourself the value of the
information presented by Susie and Otto Collins, and whether
their book "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" truly can help you
make important decisions about your relationship. But since so
much may be at stake, and an awful lot can be riding on you
making a proper decision, it might very well be worth a few
minutes of your time to check things out further. If you'd like
more information about the book "Should You Stay or Should You
Go," you can find it at:
http://www.firstworld.biz/external73.html.
Copyright © 2005 Terry Mansfield
About Terry: Terry Mansfield is Owner/President of First World
Enterprises, providing online customers world-wide with a choice
of high-quality products, services, and business opportunities
since 1999. Visit Firstworld.Biz -- the LinkUp Place at
http://www.firstworld.biz to see current recommendations. And get
"500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets" at
http://www.firstworld.biz/external69.html.
Terry Mansfield is Owner/President of First World
Enterprises, providing online customers world-wide with a choice
of high-quality products, services, and business opportunities
since 1999. Visit Firstworld.Biz -- the LinkUp Place at
http://www.firstworld.biz to see current recommendations. And get
"500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets" at
http://www.firstworld.biz/external69.html.
Going or to End It
by Terry Mansfield
In their top-selling book "Should You Stay or Should You Go?"
Relationship Coaches Susie and Otto Collins offer expert advice
to help you decide how to know WHEN or IF it's time to break up,
leave your relationship or get a divorce.
Theirs is an "action book" provided in traditional print form or
in a downloadable e-book version that is "filled with hundreds of
questions, stories and insights that will help you consciously
determine whether to stay in your present relationship or to move
on."
Relationship Experts Susie and Otto assert that their book "will
take you through a powerful process of discovery about yourself,
your partner and your relationship" and that "by going through
this process, the decision about what's best for you actually
reveals itself to you."
Webster's Dictionary defines a relationship as "a romantic or
passionate attachment." If you're in one, you might think that
you've found heaven on earth. Or maybe something that's not quite
so grand, just OK or so-so. Or possibly something far worse if
your relationship is starting to seem more like hell on earth
than heaven. In fact, things may seem so bad to you that you've
started thinking seriously about leaving a relationship. And if
you're married this could mean getting a divorce. Many of us have
found ourselves in a similar situation and have suffered great
anguish while trying to decide what to do -- stay in a
relationship or leave it.
Well, the husband and wife Relationship Coach team of Susie and
Otto Collins, who are also top-selling authors, are urging that
before you take the next, maybe fateful step regarding your
relationship, that you stop long enough to learn how to make the
best possible decision about whether to stay or go. Susie and
Otto say that while they have a great relationship with one
another now, that wasn't always the case. But they want you to
basically 'go to school on them' by learning from and benefiting
from the relationship journey they made together. While there
most certainly have been others who have overcome the low points
in a relationship and made what eventually became a successful
journey together, not many of them have been able to recount it
in writing in such clear and compelling fashion as have Susie
and Otto Collins in their top-selling book "Should You Stay or
Should You Go?" They claim their book will:
-- Help you know whether you really want to stay in this
relationship or move on
-- Help you discover what you really want in a relationship and
whether you'll be able to have it in this relationship
-- Help you identify the real issues going on in this relationship
(they may not be what you think)
-- Help you understand the communication challenges going on
between the two of you
-- Show you how the way money is handled in your relationship may
be causing major problems without you even knowing it
-- Tell you what to do if there's physical, emotional or sexual
abuse going on in this relationship
-- Give you a new way of thinking about how addictions affect
your relationship
-- Help you identify how patterns from your past may be
unconsciously ruining your relationship right before your eyes
Of course you'll have to judge for yourself the value of the
information presented by Susie and Otto Collins, and whether
their book "Should You Stay or Should You Go?" truly can help you
make important decisions about your relationship. But since so
much may be at stake, and an awful lot can be riding on you
making a proper decision, it might very well be worth a few
minutes of your time to check things out further. If you'd like
more information about the book "Should You Stay or Should You
Go," you can find it at:
http://www.firstworld.biz/external73.html.
Copyright © 2005 Terry Mansfield
About Terry: Terry Mansfield is Owner/President of First World
Enterprises, providing online customers world-wide with a choice
of high-quality products, services, and business opportunities
since 1999. Visit Firstworld.Biz -- the LinkUp Place at
http://www.firstworld.biz to see current recommendations. And get
"500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets" at
http://www.firstworld.biz/external69.html.
Terry Mansfield is Owner/President of First World
Enterprises, providing online customers world-wide with a choice
of high-quality products, services, and business opportunities
since 1999. Visit Firstworld.Biz -- the LinkUp Place at
http://www.firstworld.biz to see current recommendations. And get
"500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets" at
http://www.firstworld.biz/external69.html.
Relationship Advice: Follow Your Gut!
When people seek relationship advice from a trusted friend
or family member, it is most likely a waste of time, says
relationship author Justin Luyt.
"We ask for relationship advice often when we feel we do not have
the answers to our relationship challenges," Luyt says. "We grasp
for external wisdom, with the false belief that we do not know
the answers, but if we are being authentic to ourselves, we have
those answers."
Luyt recently published The Spirit of Romance, a book that offers
readers practical relationship advice and uses interactive
planning tools to not just change thoughts, but feelings and
behavior, too. Using the term "Spirit", Luyt defines the inner
source people must acknowledge before looking honestly inside
themselves instead of seeking relationship advice from others.
"We know why we are where we are in the relationship," Luyt
says, "but often avoid our own internal introspection. Spirit
challenges us to grow and learn."
He insists that by strengthening relationship with Spirit,
people can truly grow and move past the challenges at hand.
"When we ask for help from a friend, it is for an ear... not
guidance," he summarizes.
Throughout his book, Luyt offers a look at self-reflective
relationship advice, all based on Spirit, which allows people to
see others in their true light, as people filled with desires,
dreams and vulnerabilities.
Luyt writes people seek mutual personal and spiritual growth as
the basis for any relationship. His ideas of Spirit inspire
people too look within their core being to experience something
they can understand and feel completely. This acceptance of
Spirit negates the need for outside relationship advice when
people can answer the crucial questions with knowledge from
within.
When a relationship changes form or course, people have it within
their Spirit to redirect their energies from sensitivity and
vulnerability to spiritual strength. This strength gives people
the ability to become their own relationship advisors because
they have gained the insight necessary to overcome false doubts.
Luyt writes, "People are here to grow; and spiritual growth
occurs in a space of love, not fear."
Through his public speaking and counseling work, the South
African native has developed the Accelerated Romance Coaching
Program, a one-of-a-kind mentoring and coaching system for
singles and couples. Various Fortune 500 companies have used his
trans-continental engagingly fresh, out-of-the-box and into- reality approach for group seminars, training and coaching.
His book, The Spirit of Romance, is available at:
http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12
years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and
facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE
and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com
Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12
years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and
facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE
and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com
or family member, it is most likely a waste of time, says
relationship author Justin Luyt.
"We ask for relationship advice often when we feel we do not have
the answers to our relationship challenges," Luyt says. "We grasp
for external wisdom, with the false belief that we do not know
the answers, but if we are being authentic to ourselves, we have
those answers."
Luyt recently published The Spirit of Romance, a book that offers
readers practical relationship advice and uses interactive
planning tools to not just change thoughts, but feelings and
behavior, too. Using the term "Spirit", Luyt defines the inner
source people must acknowledge before looking honestly inside
themselves instead of seeking relationship advice from others.
"We know why we are where we are in the relationship," Luyt
says, "but often avoid our own internal introspection. Spirit
challenges us to grow and learn."
He insists that by strengthening relationship with Spirit,
people can truly grow and move past the challenges at hand.
"When we ask for help from a friend, it is for an ear... not
guidance," he summarizes.
Throughout his book, Luyt offers a look at self-reflective
relationship advice, all based on Spirit, which allows people to
see others in their true light, as people filled with desires,
dreams and vulnerabilities.
Luyt writes people seek mutual personal and spiritual growth as
the basis for any relationship. His ideas of Spirit inspire
people too look within their core being to experience something
they can understand and feel completely. This acceptance of
Spirit negates the need for outside relationship advice when
people can answer the crucial questions with knowledge from
within.
When a relationship changes form or course, people have it within
their Spirit to redirect their energies from sensitivity and
vulnerability to spiritual strength. This strength gives people
the ability to become their own relationship advisors because
they have gained the insight necessary to overcome false doubts.
Luyt writes, "People are here to grow; and spiritual growth
occurs in a space of love, not fear."
Through his public speaking and counseling work, the South
African native has developed the Accelerated Romance Coaching
Program, a one-of-a-kind mentoring and coaching system for
singles and couples. Various Fortune 500 companies have used his
trans-continental engagingly fresh, out-of-the-box and into- reality approach for group seminars, training and coaching.
His book, The Spirit of Romance, is available at:
http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12
years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and
facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE
and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com
Justin Luyt has been doing Coaching and Consulting for over 12
years. He is the published author of "The Spirit of Romance" and
facilitates numerous seminars. To contact him call 1-877-7ROMANCE
and his book is available at: http://www.SpiritOfRomance.com
Love Advice: Let Fate Decide?
One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love? What is its exact definition? Well, there can never be a definite answer. Everyone got his or her own answer to it. To some it can be really simple while to others, it can get really complicated. But one definite thing that is for sure, everybody needs love. It is a basic human need; we are not born into this world to be alone. It has always been our natural instinct as human to reach out to people, to be with and accepted by others. Consciously or subconsciously, everyone is searching and waiting for that special someone to appear in his or her life.
But where and when will this special someone appear? For all you may know, he or she could be just nearby or even just beside you. It all depends on fate a lot would say. Fate? Well fate is again, something that cannot be explained, something that is always so amazing. Think about it. Among the millions and millions of people who could be out there, why is it that you had somehow met your friends to later become the best of friends? Got retrenched, feeling so terrible and disappointed but to later find your love among your new colleagues in your new job? Life has just suddenly become so beautiful?
Well, this is indeed a very true encounter of a friend of mine. Hmm… thinking about it, isn’t there also kind of a fate between you and me that you are actually reading this article right now? Everything is like all so miraculously arranged, having a reason behind every event that happened.
Do you believe in fate? Personally I definitely do. But again, are we really going to be just sitting around doing nothing, waiting for fate to just come by? Well, I wouldn’t think so. If you are not going to help yourself, who is going to? Fate has always been around us. As long as we are in places where there are people, presence it may be. Many at times, it had actually been there but somehow we just didn’t realized and cherished it when it was there. Sad to know of it, isn’t it so? Well, sometimes we were just too obsessed with our works, dreams and nevertheless too high an expectation that we missed to see it, to cherish that someone who was all along just beside us. It is only too late to realize it now, an opportunity won’t drop by twice. Your happiness lies in your own hand, don’t live your life a regret. I am sure you wanna have a life that is so full of fond memories than with tons of regrets, don’t you? Think about it.
Let us just open up ourselves shall we? Everyday is a beautiful day, stop burying yourself with that tons of endless work. Make time for yourself, reach out, make more friends, make new friends, widen up your social circle, live a balanced healthy social life. Make life enjoyable; you will see things in a more different way. You might be going, “Hmm… why is it that all this while, I have never noticed that she is actually such a pretty girl.” Well, in fact this is how true love comes about. It doesn’t always have to be a love at first sight, to be attracted to his or her physical look. Sometimes it is through an initial friendship, enjoying the companion of one another that along time, you discover the beauty of his or her inner human qualities, unknowingly falling in love with the person. Wouldn’t this be a more beautiful and meaningful love than to a love at first sight?
Remember, love has always been a game ever awaiting your participation. Just as in life, it is a game of chance; if you never try you can never win. Well if you did not find your love today, be disappointed do not. It is just like missing the last boat leaving the dock.
There will always be another one to pick you up the next morning? And always will there be.
Now, another boat is getting ready to set off soon. To the land of great romance and opportunities it will sail. The question is, will you board it?
Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com ,
Love Relationship Discussion Forum
Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument of Eternal Memory
But where and when will this special someone appear? For all you may know, he or she could be just nearby or even just beside you. It all depends on fate a lot would say. Fate? Well fate is again, something that cannot be explained, something that is always so amazing. Think about it. Among the millions and millions of people who could be out there, why is it that you had somehow met your friends to later become the best of friends? Got retrenched, feeling so terrible and disappointed but to later find your love among your new colleagues in your new job? Life has just suddenly become so beautiful?
Well, this is indeed a very true encounter of a friend of mine. Hmm… thinking about it, isn’t there also kind of a fate between you and me that you are actually reading this article right now? Everything is like all so miraculously arranged, having a reason behind every event that happened.
Do you believe in fate? Personally I definitely do. But again, are we really going to be just sitting around doing nothing, waiting for fate to just come by? Well, I wouldn’t think so. If you are not going to help yourself, who is going to? Fate has always been around us. As long as we are in places where there are people, presence it may be. Many at times, it had actually been there but somehow we just didn’t realized and cherished it when it was there. Sad to know of it, isn’t it so? Well, sometimes we were just too obsessed with our works, dreams and nevertheless too high an expectation that we missed to see it, to cherish that someone who was all along just beside us. It is only too late to realize it now, an opportunity won’t drop by twice. Your happiness lies in your own hand, don’t live your life a regret. I am sure you wanna have a life that is so full of fond memories than with tons of regrets, don’t you? Think about it.
Let us just open up ourselves shall we? Everyday is a beautiful day, stop burying yourself with that tons of endless work. Make time for yourself, reach out, make more friends, make new friends, widen up your social circle, live a balanced healthy social life. Make life enjoyable; you will see things in a more different way. You might be going, “Hmm… why is it that all this while, I have never noticed that she is actually such a pretty girl.” Well, in fact this is how true love comes about. It doesn’t always have to be a love at first sight, to be attracted to his or her physical look. Sometimes it is through an initial friendship, enjoying the companion of one another that along time, you discover the beauty of his or her inner human qualities, unknowingly falling in love with the person. Wouldn’t this be a more beautiful and meaningful love than to a love at first sight?
Remember, love has always been a game ever awaiting your participation. Just as in life, it is a game of chance; if you never try you can never win. Well if you did not find your love today, be disappointed do not. It is just like missing the last boat leaving the dock.
There will always be another one to pick you up the next morning? And always will there be.
Now, another boat is getting ready to set off soon. To the land of great romance and opportunities it will sail. The question is, will you board it?
Rick Valens
Staff Writer for http://www.loveletterbox.com ,
Love Relationship Discussion Forum
Currently also freelance writer for http://www.ecemetery.org,
Monument of Eternal Memory
Infidelity Excuse: I Fell Out of Love...and just love being in love
I find this dilemma rather common for younger couples, probably mid or late 30s and younger.
Usually one reports, “falling out of love” and is truly disturbed by this shift. He/she (and this is not merely a female problem!) wants to “recapture” those feelings.
This person has found a “significant other” who has stirred those dormant feelings and this person once again “feels in love.”
They are determined not to “settle” for a less than an ideal relationship, which means, of course, feeling the love feelings.
Here are some Key Points for this kind of affair. (The 6 others are outlined in my E-book.)
1. Unfortunately, our culture (movies, songs, romance novels, soap operas, romance comedies) teaches us that this is how it’s supposed to be. “Falling in love” is the norm – the implication being, that if it doesn’t happen, or if it goes away, something is wrong – with you, your spouse or the marriage. A good relationship must first unlearn a great deal.
2. The person who was driven to find “that loving feeling” (reminds me of a song…) usually experiences a high degree of guilt and conflict. He/she is often married to a “good” person and the desire to “find that loving feeling” seems selfish (which it is) and immature (which it is). Intuitively (and this person usually has a great deal of intuition and sensitivity) it is known at another level that he/she is not on the right path.
3. This person usually has a need for drama and excitement. Life easily becomes a soap opera. Emotional juice from the fall-out of emotionally intense relationships reigns rather than living life from the core of who one is.
4. There is little understanding, or perhaps healthy models, of the shifts needed as a relationship matures. For example, “falling out of love” usually happens when the attractors become the distracters. For example: His love for fun and spontaneity, which drew her initially to him, becomes irresponsibility. Her stability and calm, which drew him initially to her, become control.
5. The person “looking for love” is actually looking for the ideal, someone out there, who will project back to him/her that he/she is OK. No, more than OK, close to perfect.
6. This person needs to be adored, or think another adores him/her, because there is a lack of inner strength and solid identity. The other becomes my world, because I lack a world. Being “in love” is the panacea for my emptiness.
7. Sexual intercourse does not need to be a part of these relationships. Sexual activity may indeed END the relationship or at least move it to the point where the attractors become, again, the distracters. The idealized images may be held together by long phone calls, gifts, holding, love letters, e-mails, etc.
8. This type of affair often occurs when there is a “lull” in the marriage relationship. The responsibility of raising children, starting and maintaining a career, paying bills, etc. become the focal point for the couple. Romance becomes a foreign word. People are especially vulnerable for this type of affair after the children are in school and/or the oldest child reaches early adolescence. (There are good reasons for this, from a family systems perspective, but I won’t get into that here.)
Tip: If your spouse is struggling with this type of relationship, make sure you hold and care for your self. Your spouse does not have the capacity to do this for you (or anyone) at this point. Yes, you are ok. Her/his affair says less about you and much more about the emptiness within her/him. It is time for you to know you better. Model for him/her what it means to be a person with a core, with integrity, with boundaries, with values, with meaning, with purpose and actively figure out what your needs are, and get them met. Maybe she will ask questions. Maybe she will not. Maybe soon. Maybe later.
For more information on the different kinds of affairs, what causes them, the probabilities of them ending a marriage and what you can do about it, visit my site.
About the author:
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
Usually one reports, “falling out of love” and is truly disturbed by this shift. He/she (and this is not merely a female problem!) wants to “recapture” those feelings.
This person has found a “significant other” who has stirred those dormant feelings and this person once again “feels in love.”
They are determined not to “settle” for a less than an ideal relationship, which means, of course, feeling the love feelings.
Here are some Key Points for this kind of affair. (The 6 others are outlined in my E-book.)
1. Unfortunately, our culture (movies, songs, romance novels, soap operas, romance comedies) teaches us that this is how it’s supposed to be. “Falling in love” is the norm – the implication being, that if it doesn’t happen, or if it goes away, something is wrong – with you, your spouse or the marriage. A good relationship must first unlearn a great deal.
2. The person who was driven to find “that loving feeling” (reminds me of a song…) usually experiences a high degree of guilt and conflict. He/she is often married to a “good” person and the desire to “find that loving feeling” seems selfish (which it is) and immature (which it is). Intuitively (and this person usually has a great deal of intuition and sensitivity) it is known at another level that he/she is not on the right path.
3. This person usually has a need for drama and excitement. Life easily becomes a soap opera. Emotional juice from the fall-out of emotionally intense relationships reigns rather than living life from the core of who one is.
4. There is little understanding, or perhaps healthy models, of the shifts needed as a relationship matures. For example, “falling out of love” usually happens when the attractors become the distracters. For example: His love for fun and spontaneity, which drew her initially to him, becomes irresponsibility. Her stability and calm, which drew him initially to her, become control.
5. The person “looking for love” is actually looking for the ideal, someone out there, who will project back to him/her that he/she is OK. No, more than OK, close to perfect.
6. This person needs to be adored, or think another adores him/her, because there is a lack of inner strength and solid identity. The other becomes my world, because I lack a world. Being “in love” is the panacea for my emptiness.
7. Sexual intercourse does not need to be a part of these relationships. Sexual activity may indeed END the relationship or at least move it to the point where the attractors become, again, the distracters. The idealized images may be held together by long phone calls, gifts, holding, love letters, e-mails, etc.
8. This type of affair often occurs when there is a “lull” in the marriage relationship. The responsibility of raising children, starting and maintaining a career, paying bills, etc. become the focal point for the couple. Romance becomes a foreign word. People are especially vulnerable for this type of affair after the children are in school and/or the oldest child reaches early adolescence. (There are good reasons for this, from a family systems perspective, but I won’t get into that here.)
Tip: If your spouse is struggling with this type of relationship, make sure you hold and care for your self. Your spouse does not have the capacity to do this for you (or anyone) at this point. Yes, you are ok. Her/his affair says less about you and much more about the emptiness within her/him. It is time for you to know you better. Model for him/her what it means to be a person with a core, with integrity, with boundaries, with values, with meaning, with purpose and actively figure out what your needs are, and get them met. Maybe she will ask questions. Maybe she will not. Maybe soon. Maybe later.
For more information on the different kinds of affairs, what causes them, the probabilities of them ending a marriage and what you can do about it, visit my site.
About the author:
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
Putting Romance Back Into Your Marriage
Let me start by saying I am not a psycholigist or therapist, I am just a guy, who was married for 16 years, until that ended about a year and a half ago. I am now in a new and exciting relationship, which I believe will work out great. I am forty years old and just speaking from experience. Hopefully these tips I give you will spice up your love life again.
Often times in a marriage or long-term relationship, couples tend to fall into a routine. What maybe started out as a very romantic relationship, begins to slow down as bills, children, work and all the pressures of life conspire to give us stress and lead us away from what is really important.
I would venture to guess that most divorces stem from this problem. You see each other As a business partner, parenting partner, chore partner. But not so much as a lover. You have to drive the kids here and there, while your partner is getting the groceries. There is always something to do,and it usually does not include being alone with your partner.
Every once in a while you remember what it was like in the beginning, and think why can’t it be like that again. By the way, both sexes think this, the problem is they only think it, and usually don’t talk about it.
When the kids are small, I know it isn’t as easy to make time for each other, but the most important thing you can do for your marriage is to MAKE time. If that means getting grandma and grandpa to watch the kids overnight, or splurging on a babysitter once a week, it would be the best investment you could make in your marriage.
If you could get away with your partner for a date night once a week, you won’t regret it. Whether going out for dinner, or a movie, or a long walk together, it will bring the two of you closer together. Plus, getting away from the kids is a great stress reliever.
Then when you get back home, still with no kids around, a great way to spice things up in the bedroom, is with lingerie. It may sound cliché, but it really works. Think about it ladies, your partner sees you all week as a mom, housekeeper, breadwinner. The last thing he is thinking of you as, is a bedroom goddess. Believe me, if you come home after a nice night out, and you go upstairs and put on a beautiful piece of lingerie, a nice teddy, or corset, body stocking, or bustier, you’re partner will definitely be put into the mood.
It will make him see you as he used to see you. More than a mom, etc. After all, isn’t that what you want?
But, don’t stop there. A great way to spice things up is to try things you never tried before. That could be something as simple as bringing some food into the mix, you know strawberries, whip cream, things like that. Then, there is always the massage, everybody loves a massage with warm oil. Just the fact you are doing things differently will really help spice things up. We all know that we fall into a routine in the bedroom after a while. The only cure for that is to change things around.
So, hopefully this will help you to get back on the right track. Good luck. Visit my website at: http://www.purplemoose.us/lingerie.html
Often times in a marriage or long-term relationship, couples tend to fall into a routine. What maybe started out as a very romantic relationship, begins to slow down as bills, children, work and all the pressures of life conspire to give us stress and lead us away from what is really important.
I would venture to guess that most divorces stem from this problem. You see each other As a business partner, parenting partner, chore partner. But not so much as a lover. You have to drive the kids here and there, while your partner is getting the groceries. There is always something to do,and it usually does not include being alone with your partner.
Every once in a while you remember what it was like in the beginning, and think why can’t it be like that again. By the way, both sexes think this, the problem is they only think it, and usually don’t talk about it.
When the kids are small, I know it isn’t as easy to make time for each other, but the most important thing you can do for your marriage is to MAKE time. If that means getting grandma and grandpa to watch the kids overnight, or splurging on a babysitter once a week, it would be the best investment you could make in your marriage.
If you could get away with your partner for a date night once a week, you won’t regret it. Whether going out for dinner, or a movie, or a long walk together, it will bring the two of you closer together. Plus, getting away from the kids is a great stress reliever.
Then when you get back home, still with no kids around, a great way to spice things up in the bedroom, is with lingerie. It may sound cliché, but it really works. Think about it ladies, your partner sees you all week as a mom, housekeeper, breadwinner. The last thing he is thinking of you as, is a bedroom goddess. Believe me, if you come home after a nice night out, and you go upstairs and put on a beautiful piece of lingerie, a nice teddy, or corset, body stocking, or bustier, you’re partner will definitely be put into the mood.
It will make him see you as he used to see you. More than a mom, etc. After all, isn’t that what you want?
But, don’t stop there. A great way to spice things up is to try things you never tried before. That could be something as simple as bringing some food into the mix, you know strawberries, whip cream, things like that. Then, there is always the massage, everybody loves a massage with warm oil. Just the fact you are doing things differently will really help spice things up. We all know that we fall into a routine in the bedroom after a while. The only cure for that is to change things around.
So, hopefully this will help you to get back on the right track. Good luck. Visit my website at: http://www.purplemoose.us/lingerie.html
Keeping Love Alive
I believe that finding, sustaining, growing, and enjoying satisfying relationships is one of greatest joys and challenges we have as human beings. We have generally been blessed with a tremendous desire to love and be loved; to listen and be listened to; to take care of and accept care from others. And yet meaningful, sustainable relationships often elude us – especially as it applies to the opposite sex.
Here are some things I’ve learned in my walk through life - as a divorced single mom, widower, and over 50 remarried - about finding and sustaining a “soul-mate” relationship:
1. Know who you are and what you want. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t know what it is. As women look for love, we often take what comes our way rather than seeking what and who we want. Knowing the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with comes from knowing who you are – your values, interests, what you can/will tolerate, what you won’t.
2. Learn how to disagree, speak your mind, and/or confront.
Avoiding conflict is death for a marriage. It may seem like you’re on the right path by never, ever arguing or disagreeing but avoiding conflict requires repression of anger, which leads to depression of feelings. Passion is extinguished in this environment. Learn to fight fair and keep the slate clear. (see article on What Are You Afraid Of?)
3. Speaking of passion – keep the fire lit! I think women often underestimate the critical role sexuality and having a really good sex life plays in a successful marriage. Men, you know what I’m talking about! Create romantic opportunities, ask for what you want, talk, talk, talk – do what you as a couple need to do to keep this aspect of your relationship alive and well.
4. Don’t allow children and child-raising to take precedence over your marital relationship. A great marriage is the best gift you can give your children. Get away from the kids on a regular basis. Find a good sitter! Arrange for an overnight with just the two of you at least once a year. Talk about matters other than the kids, the bills, the family. Someday it will just be the two of you again. Be sure you still know each other.
5. Take responsibility for your actions and affirm each other. Say, “I’m sorry” when you make a mistake or hurt your partner. Say, “Thank you” when they do something for you. Appreciate what your husband does! Don’t take “expected” action for granted. Recognition and affirmation are two of the best gifts you can give each other. Spend them freely.
6. Don’t take on the persona of, “I shouldn’t have to ask – he should know.” This is one of the greatest mistakes women make in a relationship. I hear women say things like, “But if I have to ask for it, the real meaning/pleasure/gesture is lost.” Get over it! Men can’t read our minds. They’re not always tuned in or on the same wave length. Maybe they just don’t know. Be a big girl and ask for what you want! (I’m pretty tough on this issue)
7. Get help if you need it. Don’t put your head under a bushel. If your relationship is in trouble (no matter whose “fault” either one of you thinks it is), seek out ways to make it better. Find a relationship coach, a therapist, a marriage counselor, a book – I highly recommend John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus In the Bedroom (it’s on tape so you can listen to it together), Don’t give up – keep searching and talking and striving until things get better. The answer rarely lies in changing partners.
Coaching tip
Review what you have, what you want, the hidden or apparent treasure of love. If you have a soul mate, never, never take this relationship for granted. It is rare indeed!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The average man is more interested in a woman who is
interested in him than a woman with beautiful legs.
Marlene Dietrich, actress
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Mershon Niesner, PCC, CPCC Professional Certified Coach
Author of Ribbons of Love – Affirmations for Abundant Living. Visit www.coachmershon.com to subscribe to the Business Woman’s Advantage ezine and other FREE Resources for Success.
Here are some things I’ve learned in my walk through life - as a divorced single mom, widower, and over 50 remarried - about finding and sustaining a “soul-mate” relationship:
1. Know who you are and what you want. You’ll never get what you want if you don’t know what it is. As women look for love, we often take what comes our way rather than seeking what and who we want. Knowing the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with comes from knowing who you are – your values, interests, what you can/will tolerate, what you won’t.
2. Learn how to disagree, speak your mind, and/or confront.
Avoiding conflict is death for a marriage. It may seem like you’re on the right path by never, ever arguing or disagreeing but avoiding conflict requires repression of anger, which leads to depression of feelings. Passion is extinguished in this environment. Learn to fight fair and keep the slate clear. (see article on What Are You Afraid Of?)
3. Speaking of passion – keep the fire lit! I think women often underestimate the critical role sexuality and having a really good sex life plays in a successful marriage. Men, you know what I’m talking about! Create romantic opportunities, ask for what you want, talk, talk, talk – do what you as a couple need to do to keep this aspect of your relationship alive and well.
4. Don’t allow children and child-raising to take precedence over your marital relationship. A great marriage is the best gift you can give your children. Get away from the kids on a regular basis. Find a good sitter! Arrange for an overnight with just the two of you at least once a year. Talk about matters other than the kids, the bills, the family. Someday it will just be the two of you again. Be sure you still know each other.
5. Take responsibility for your actions and affirm each other. Say, “I’m sorry” when you make a mistake or hurt your partner. Say, “Thank you” when they do something for you. Appreciate what your husband does! Don’t take “expected” action for granted. Recognition and affirmation are two of the best gifts you can give each other. Spend them freely.
6. Don’t take on the persona of, “I shouldn’t have to ask – he should know.” This is one of the greatest mistakes women make in a relationship. I hear women say things like, “But if I have to ask for it, the real meaning/pleasure/gesture is lost.” Get over it! Men can’t read our minds. They’re not always tuned in or on the same wave length. Maybe they just don’t know. Be a big girl and ask for what you want! (I’m pretty tough on this issue)
7. Get help if you need it. Don’t put your head under a bushel. If your relationship is in trouble (no matter whose “fault” either one of you thinks it is), seek out ways to make it better. Find a relationship coach, a therapist, a marriage counselor, a book – I highly recommend John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus In the Bedroom (it’s on tape so you can listen to it together), Don’t give up – keep searching and talking and striving until things get better. The answer rarely lies in changing partners.
Coaching tip
Review what you have, what you want, the hidden or apparent treasure of love. If you have a soul mate, never, never take this relationship for granted. It is rare indeed!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
The average man is more interested in a woman who is
interested in him than a woman with beautiful legs.
Marlene Dietrich, actress
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Mershon Niesner, PCC, CPCC Professional Certified Coach
Author of Ribbons of Love – Affirmations for Abundant Living. Visit www.coachmershon.com to subscribe to the Business Woman’s Advantage ezine and other FREE Resources for Success.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)